No one knows but God
Hey, there. I have something I’d like to share with you. This time around we will be going a bit deeper than usual and things may get a little rocky but, hey? That’s the whole point of this living thing. We must experience uncertainty and rocky times in order to survive and ultimately recognize certainty and stability. So buckle up and take this ride with me.
We all have dreams and visions. Some are more clear than others, right? But just because we can see them clearly in our minds doesn’t necessarily mean they’re clear to us in real time. All of our steps are ordered — doesn’t matter where you’re going, steps are ordered in the direction of how your life is supposed to go; even if things go terribly wrong, things happen for a reason. Obstacles exist to test willpower and strength of character. So the pathway for your life which exists solely in your mind may be clear, but in reality, there are many bumps in the road, many!
No one around you will see the vision. No one will understand it. But it is your duty to command respect for it. It is okay to have a healthy obsession with your work. It is okay to be obsessed with wanting to make something of your life as opposed to waiting for someone else to save you. If you were to wait for thrill, you’re just existing and you aren’t living. I wish to live. I am going to live, there is nothing and no one that can stop this hiipower source moving through me.
I bring this to your attention simply because:
- if you want something bad enough, you’ll go after it, but —
- those closest to you will cast doubt and fears over your life.
These fears do not always come in the form of directly saying that I’m scared for you, no. Those ill feelings often come in the form of rejecting your course of action when you’re simply doing what’s best for your life or finally attempting to get things into a better place than they were before when you made an irreversible decision that would change everything, hopefully for the better. All of our moves are made in good faith.
Do you know what it’s like to be told that you can’t have something or can’t do something because of an over-saturated issue? Your life is your life. Go out and live it! People are going to disagree with you, so what? People are going to talk crazy about you and towards you, so what? Live!!
Someone who once deeply inspired me actually turned to disrespect and insulted me for my online presence. “You’re stupid for having your stuff online. And yes, I called you stupid.” That hurt me. It hurt me a lot. It hurt so bad that I deleted my blogging platforms within minutes after hearing those words. But something else happened.
I cried. It can be like that sometimes. But I also realized that what’s in me cannot be suppressed any longer. I am destined for more than what I do now. I am destined to have more than I have now.
There’s MORE out there for me and you, and to allow the limits of someone else’s imagination or beliefs of what you should do regarding your personal and professional life and development is wrong. That’s actually stupid — to concern oneself with self-limiting thoughts of another person. It is truly debilitating.
Looking back on it, I’m mad that I even entertained and allowed it to affect me the way it did, but we must remember: those who are closest to us are also those who have the greatest influence over us — especially our elders.
Their words affect us more than they realize. It doesn’t matter if we’re children or adults. Their opinion matters, and sometimes, we give in to their opinions because, sadly, to a degree, we believe the same thing subconsciously. Do we not want more for ourselves? Do we not wish to achieve the goals we consistently envision and see clearly day in and day out? I surely hope so.
After what this person said to me eventually died out of conscious control, I made a vow that I wouldn’t be effected by anything anyone else says; whether literary critics posting reviews or talks throughout the duration of any intimate relationship where people are voicing their goals and grievances. Personally, I just want more.
I want more from, for, and of myself. That’s not too much to ask. And my art happens to be solution-oriented, providing outcomes to problems that I didn’t know existed.
I realize something else as I write these final words.
Writing gives everyone the opportunity to not only work through their own struggles and difficulties but also to indirectly address the silent sufferings and needs of their intended audience.
To some degree, we’re all in this together, right? But at the same time, we are all very different. Our greatest commonality is the human experience and art that serve us as umbrellas promoting protection, education, and an overall sense of community.
I hope this provides you with true clarity on why I do what I do and why I cannot stop. Something deep down within me will not allow it!
You do not need permission to go out and live your life. And if you do, the person to talk to is God.
