Don’t Dwell In The Past; Embrace The Future.
I wanted to buy earphones for myself because I like listening to music. It kidnaps me away from reality and grabs my hand to take me into a realm of cotton candies and English roses. “I just got a new one, but I do not want this color. Do you want to buy it from me for the same price I got it for?” Said my sister. And I did buy it that day from her for 20$.
The same day, my father asked me to restore an important picture he thought was deleted by mistake on his phone. I searched in his recycle bin, the memory in his phone, and google account to look for it.
At the end of the day, I found it after spending some time on the screen. “Here are 20$. Excellent job, my dear.” said my father. I was kind of annoyed “Had I not bought earphones I would now have 40$ in total instead of 20$.” But my father did not like what I said, and hastened to correct my way of thinking: “Instead of grieving over the 20$ which you spent, you should be proud that you restored the money you lost.”
And this one… It hit hard.
This is what happened with me a few months ago and taught me to think of retrieving what I lost instead of repenting loosing it. And to generalize this:
Do not occupy yourself thinking about the problem but rather find a way to get out of it with the least damage possible.
This is how powerful having this kind of mindset is. It shifts the stream of your thoughts to focus on seeing the light amid the black days, and to understand that an unlit candle is a symbol of potential rather than hopelessness. It makes you admit that dark is not dark after all, and that light is not always so bright.
- Region Beta paradox:
It was was first described by Daniel Gilbert, a psychologist at Harvard University, in his book “Stumbling on Happiness”. Gilbert and his colleagues conducted a series of experiments that showed that people were more likely to recover from more distressing experiences than from less distressing ones.
In one experiment, participants were asked to imagine that they were in a car accident. Some participants were told that the accident was minor, while others were told that the accident was severe.
The participants were then asked how long it would take them to recover from the accident. The results showed that the participants who imagined the severe accident predicted that they would recover more quickly than the participants who imagined the minor accident.
In short, sometimes we believe that a situation is really terrible, be that as it may, it makes you cope with stress and deal with it better, and this coping mechanism makes you even stronger so that when you come out of that problem you are happier and feeling way better than a person who always lived a delighting life.
What I would like to say is that you have to look at problems in a positive way. Do not think negatively about them and then confine yourself in your own bubble which is full of depression and distress since every thing is chaotic and you can not get your self together.
Instead, look for some resolutions and work towards a better life. This conflict will undeniably make you stronger and teach you something.
2. Embrace what is coming:
Whatever thing your facing or will face, learn to embrace it, accept it, adapt to it, deal with it, make the most out of it, then free it if needed. This is how you will live a good life and there is no other way. Whenever you reject facing a certain clash in your life, it will not disappear but rather follow you around and bother you even more, but when you learn to embrace it, you will know more about it and solve it with maturity.
Let us take this example, we all know those people who have certain traumas in their childhood, right? They always try to run away from it thinking that this way they will have a peaceful life. However, we then see that if they face a really simply incident, they can be immediately reminded of it and then burst into unstoppable tears, and the agony will pierce their flesh every single second torturing them.
On the other hand, we see those who face the pain and never run away. Will they have a hard time? Yes they would. Will they be in pain? Undeniably, yes. However the only difference here is that the latter will come out stronger, more powerful, having more influence because they will teach others form their experience. They will be INVINCIBLE.
The pain won’t dissipate if you delayed it. Life does not play favorites, and there is no magician here to turn it upside down. Understand.
Conclusion:
“Do not dwell in the past; embrace the future” This is a golden rule in your life. Not everything is made out of cotton candies and English roses, some experiences can be made of dark chocolate or risky nights in the woods.
What you should do is to accept what is coming because you simply have no other option. You have to face, you have to stand up after being broken for so much long.
But if we look closer, the most beautiful parts in life do not come form pleasure and peaceful living, but rather from the pain and risk for they will teach you not to take life for granted, and this way you will be promised a life full of joy since you appreciate the value of the days bathed in sunlight and know that those full of sorrow are here to teach you something, and the best part is that “ You are willing to embace it, and learn.”
