I Ain't Yo Mama!
... and why it’s important to make this clear from the outset.
So, I recently came across this short video on Instagram, where a young man tells his girlfriend that he’ll never marry her.
Since, instead of having a meal prepared for his arrival, she chose to lie on the sofa under a thick blanket; while casually sipping away on a Chick-fil-a beverage.
Then, while he was going off on her, she reacted angrily, saying something to the effect of "That’s not my job"; which caused mixed reactions in the comments section.
Anywho, after watching this video, it actually got me thinking.
Especially since I recently learned that a male public figure is expecting three more children: one with his new wife/long-term girlfriend (they not too long ago lost their first child together) and two with ladies he seems to have hooked up with at random.
Anyway, while I'm not here to judge, I am here to share one of the main things I discovered when thinking about these two separate experiences.
Along with a relationship I was involved in a very long time ago.
That is, much of the misunderstanding in relationships today, particularly in committed, romantic relationships, stems from how we perceive our partners and the roles we expect them to play in our lives.
This is because some people view their significant others as either their husband or wife (i.e. someone who holds you down and vice versa).
While others view their significant others more like their mother or father (i.e. someone who bears the bulk of the responsibilities, without expecting much in return).
I also believe that those of us who lack maturity tend to be drawn to the latter, while those of us who possess maturity tend to be drawn to the former.
Since the latter represents a parent-child dynamic, whereas the former signifies the interaction between two mature adults.
So, in the case of the young couple, perhaps the woman was convinced that she shouldn’t have to support her boyfriend in this way.
Since she viewed their relationship as similar to a father-daughter dynamic, where she wouldn’t be expected to carry out this task, as it traditionally falls on the wife and not the daughter?
While, in the second example, where the husband appears to be knocking ladies up with very little care, perhaps he sees his now wife as more of a mother figure.
As a result, he doesn’t feel obligated to provide her with the emotional security she deserves, since that is the responsibility of her husband, not her son.
"All right, but what if they're both into polygamy, which allows him to have sex with multiple women?" You ask.
While this may be true, something still seems off and possibly toxic about this union. Since he appears to be impregnating women he met in passing, rather than women he actually knows.
Especially since one of the women stated that she had no idea he was married.
In conclusion, this post was not written to judge anyone or to make a blanket statement about how romantic relationships should exist. It was written to emphasize the importance of being clear about the role you want your significant other to play and vice versa.
As for me, I'll treat my significant other more like a husband and will expect to be treated like a wife in return. Since I believe that the greatest sense of joy, derived from a romantic relationship, is when couples work together as a team.
Therefore, if my future husband is reading this, please note that I am not and will never be yo mama.
Instead, I am your devoted, loving, virtuous wife; assisting you with fulfilling your God-given destiny.
