Raped At 7 and How Masturbation Formed the Person I Am Now
Thank u for reading ❤️
I was born and raised in an impoverished environment.
As a kid, I was surrounded by middle school-educated adults. A harsh time for the still-developing, after-war Vietnam in the early 2010s. A reality that forced kids to be raised in terrible conditions.
Consequently, I didn’t have a good education.
At 7, I grew curious about sex in the second grade of elementary school. I assumed that people having sex was simply the act of being naked and sleeping together. But it ended there, and I didn't do anything beyond that to discover new things about sex.
However, the curiosity of adult things flowed around in my head. My first sexual experience started because of nosiness.
Not long after, my family welcomed my dad’s business partner. My dad’s partner sometimes took his sons with him. I became acquainted with his sons.
One afternoon, alone with the older son of my dad’s partner, he asked me to go to bed with him. Shockingly, I followed him. He was maybe six or seven years older.
He performed handjob and oral sex on me. I didn’t have an orgasm. And he stopped. Oh, man!!! A teen and a damn 7-year-old kid. He didn’t go any further. He didn’t dare. Oh, he was still a kid, you know.
I didn’t know how to act, I didn’t know how to think, I didn’t know whether it was wrong. I was controlled. He was controlled.
Lack of sex education is a thing (at least for my kid-self). He and I were victims. Perhaps, he knew more than me.
And if now you ask me what I think about this time. I no longer remember clearly my thoughts, and my emotions at the time, all I have now is a third-person point of view.
But I would blame all that happened to that child of mine on the education in my country. I would blame that reality on the government. But now, it really doesn’t matter to me that much. Whenever I think about it, I don’t have any emotions evoked in me.
So did it have bad effects on me? Maybe it didn’t because I don’t have a mental illness or anything. Or maybe its effects were implicit, and it did have something to make me the person I am now.
Back at my past story.
I still didn’t know about the existence of orgasm after the incident. My head was dominated by one question, “why do people have sex? It’s not that fun, there’s no pleasure in it?”
Two years later, when I was in fourth grade, I had my next sexual incident.
A guy from my village, a friend of my brother, came to my home to hang out with us. And when my parents weren’t at home. He asked us to watch a porn video.
It’s like heaven. Watching porn as a kid is a heavenly experience.
But it had real problems for me.
After watching porn for the first time. I was hooked on it.
And I started using my brother’s phone to watch hentai and porn. This bad habit happened for weeks. And yeah, you know, watching people copulate (sorry for this word) gave me a lot of knowledge about “what you do when you have sex”.
I started to know what masturbation was. When I had my very first orgasm, I had masturbated several times. The funny part is the times I had rubbed one out but hadn’t cum. I almost gave up.
Since my first orgasm experience, I changed. I wanted to have that feeling again and again. I thought I was immoral, sordid because of that desire.
I was ashamed, but couldn’t stop.
Time passed. Years passed.
The good news, in my abnormal way of learning more about sex, I began to know more and knew it was not a bad thing.
I feel OK about masturbation. You should, too. Just research a little bit to have a better understanding.
Back to the question, “Did all those things affect me negatively?”. I like the person I am now. All those things built me, I appreciate those things. But some were bad, that’s OK, now I’m fine.
(this part is not important) For what it’s worth, here are some scientifically proven benefits of masturbation:
- Stress relief: Masturbation releases endorphins in the brain, which can help reduce stress and anxiety.
- Improved sleep: After orgasm, the body releases oxytocin, which can help promote relaxation and induce sleep.
- Pain relief: Masturbation can stimulate the release of endorphins, which are natural pain relievers.
- Boosts mood: Masturbation can boost mood by increasing dopamine and serotonin levels in the brain.
- Improved sexual function: Masturbation can help improve sexual function by increasing blood flow to the genitals and promoting healthy sexual responses.
- Reduces risk of prostate cancer: Regular ejaculation, whether through masturbation or sex, has been shown to reduce the risk of prostate cancer.
It is important to note that excessive masturbation can have negative effects, such as causing physical discomfort or interfering with daily activities. Moderation is key.
