I hate you.
(Naked by James Arthur, someone you loved by Lewis Capaldi, Wildest dreams by Taylor Swift, loose you to love me by Selena Gomez, If the world was ending now by JP Sax, Julia Micheals, Night changes by One Direction, Hate you, Love you by Olivia O’Brien)
Somedays it hits bad and it hurts. I want to scream and cry. It hurts a lot, I want to feel it all so bad, so I keep on listening to the somber songs that leaves a bitter taste to my tongue, reminding me of unwanted memories. I feel my throat getting choked up, eyes welling up . I won’t cry but it’s heart wrenching, I’m in so much pain.
I go through the fragments of memories left behind; the deleted text messages, the forgotten emails, the Snapchat memories left. All these while, the sad playlist is still on a roll and just when i think I’ve felt it all, the song you sent comes on and it floods me with memories. My eyes can’t contain anymore, I feel the tears roll down my cheeks, it’s warm. More pool down, I’m not cleaning it off because that’s unfair to my emotions, I’m hurt, sad, alone.
Whatever happened to even if things went south, let’s still be friends?
Whatever happened to, I really love you.
How did everything go sour in a second?
How? How? How?
I hate how you made me feel, I hate how my heart aches for you, I hate how seeing you floods me back with memories, I hate how it’s not the same with any other person, I hate how there’s a glimmer of hope burning slowly, when you’ve already moved on. I hate you, I really hate you.
I wonder
Do you feel the same? When you walk past. When you bump into me. When my name pops up, do you also get riled up or is just me?
Has it always been just me?
Then I hate you more.
Why? Why? Why couldn’t we just have a happy ever after ending or should I still hold on to my little glimmer of hope?
I hate you….i loved you and now, I need to stop but the heart wants what it wants.
If I was taken back in time, I’ll always choose you. Even if I was shown the future, I’ll always choose you. I don’t have any regrets, I just miss you. It drives me crazy.
I hate you,
I love you,
I hate that, I love you,
Don’t want to,
But I can’t put nobody else above you.
