Relationships
If You Decided to Change Your Life, be Ready for The Changes When They Come
Change brings new things.
But it’s not always easy to let go of the old and embrace the new.
When you seek change, a lot of the old stuff still shows up.
So, with your new mindset and commitment to change, you may have to back step a little at times.
For example, you may have had a lot of toxic relationships in your life and needed to end them.
That’s great work, but a few things are going to happen.
Firstly, you don’t know how these people are going to react to your decision to terminate the relationship.
More than likely, they are not going to like it.
Then there are the new relationships.
You are starting over, so it’s easy to be drawn to the familiar, at first.
You find yourself befriending people with similar character traits to the people you just left.
But, don’t fret, you are more aware now and you have learned new skills. For instance, you now know how to evaluate your feelings after being in their presence.
You can ask yourself:
Do I feel uplifted and positive when I’m with ________ (person’s name), or do I feel drained?
In the early stages of any new relationship, you do not have to make a big commitment. You’re just seeing if you have things in common.
I made this mistake with one person. I thought we would have a lot in common as we were both Christians, ex-pats, and of a similar age.
In the beginning, the friendship seemed great, but after a while, I noticed this person was not really who they said they were.
As it turned out, she had little ability to have a friendship. She was inconsistent, didn’t really listen, and was quick to give unsolicited advice.
I soon came to realize that this person had poor relationship skills.
Thankfully, I hadn’t been over-invested in the friendship, so I didn't feel too hurt, or betrayed. I was able to let her go, with love and peace.
The lesson in this for me was that real change comes gradually.
We need to be discerning when picking new friends, jobs, or potential soul mates.
Watch out for the red flags. If it’s familiar, it probably means you have been in that situation before. Think about how hurt you were last time and back away.
Delaying gratification is a crucial part of finding the life that would be good for you.
You don’t want that DRAMA again — or do you?
Well, I know I don’t, so I am willing to spend time alone, if I have to, until I find the relationships I deserve. If you love yourself, you won’t accept poor-quality relationships.
Remember — change means change, so go slowly and choose better this time around.
Blessings!
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