I’m a Woman Living in one of the Safest Countries in the World, still, I’m Afraid
When I was eight, I remember my mother entering the house crying because a lunatic man decided to stand naked in front of her. I wondered why someone would do something so inadequate.
When I was eleven, I was playing with my friends in school and a man approached the grid separating us from the street and showed us his penis. I felt disgusted.
When I was thirteen, while walking to school, a man jumped from the bushes moaning and touching his penis. I just ran, scared for my life.
When I was sixteen, I started going to clubs, which is legal in Portugal, and having to deal with much older men making me uncomfortable with their moves and commentaries.
Last month, I was walking my dog when suddenly a man approached me showing his penis and asking me to help him. This was the encounter that scared me the most because the street was absolutely empty. Luckily, I think he got scared when my dog got closer and took off, leaving me breathless.
This is a part of my life, and I live in Portugal, a country rated the sixth safest in the world. I should feel completely secure walking the streets, however, I always have this voice in the back of my head telling me to be ready to run. In fact, I feel grateful as none of the situations I described progressed to something more serious, but also angry and surprised because this keeps happening. I don't fear man. I have a loving father and a loving boyfriend, but I fear predators, and that’s what somehow our society keeps creating.
The danger I experience is global, however, people aren’t talking enough about it. The inadequate males I encountered are not just old freaks: nowadays, there are people who start harassing others in their teenage years. Why does this happen? Is it frustration? Is it pure perversion? Are they just miming their role model’s behavior? I do not know.
What I can say for sure is that sometimes I hesitate before walking my dog.
Sometimes I have to breed for a minute so that I can assure I don’t let the fear of harassment influence my life. For me, it is obvious that action must take place. I believe it should start in education. In fact, in school, I would feel shocked as I would hear some misogynistic words switched between boys. I could only imagine the kind of people they would become, and the system was doing nothing to prevent it. Besides that, I also believe mental health should be a more normalized topic.
Some attackers have mental illnesses, which doesn’t erase the seriousness of their actions, but if they had been treated, perhaps we could have prevented some criminal acts. Also, I know sometimes women feel ashamed and end up not reporting this type of occurrence, which also ends up not putting a stop to the hideous acts. It is important to understand that saying something to the authorities is likely stopping another woman from being approached by one do these freaks, which can be traumatizing.
I’m proud of Portuguese people for having “mild manners” as we usually affirm, which allow us to be such a secure country, but the situations I described aren’t just details. Women should not be afraid to walk alone, simply because they are women. This is a fight that comes from way behind, and it is shocking that such a modern and conscientious society keeps allowing perverts to thrive. Change is urgent, and it needs to originate from each one of us. Advising victims of harassment to just “let it go” is not enough, real measures need to be applied so that these events are prevented and not just dealt with after they happen.
I’m lucky due to the safety of my nation and still feel afraid. I can only imagine the situations taking place in the rest of the world. So, for me, for all women, and for all men, we need to stop this spiral of perversion. We need to spread awareness and walk towards a society with more principles and fewer reports of harassment.
