My 20s Feel Like I’m an Unsupervised High Schooler, Research Now Proves That
I’ve always had a strong vision of my goals and where I want to be in life.
I know what I need to do and how to get there.
I also don’t have any idea what I’m doing.
Yep. You read that right.
Everything seems unnecessarily hard. I get that building yourself up takes work, but in the last few years, it’s been a little too hard.
This isn’t just about me. This is about our education, the job market, inflation, and the constant virus dump that’s been happening since 2020.
I’ve heard people my age say they don’t feel like adults, or that they won’t feel ready to settle down until their 30s.
And I agree–I honestly feel like a kid figuring it out in an adult world.
What do we think our 30s have for us that our 20s don’t?
- A well-paying job
- A roof over our heads that we can comfortably afford
- A hope that we’d be mature and stable enough to start or provide for a family
- Having a sense of security and knowledge where we don’t feel as lost
I thought that the collective tendency to look at 30 as a stable age was purely due to our economic stressors, which play a huge role.
But now, it seems like science is also starting to prove how our brain fully develops later than we anticipated.
Let’s start with education
School teaches you a²+b²=c² as if your life depends on it, but not investing, real estate, starting a business, taxes, money management, you know…things we actually need.
So now it’s time to be an “adult,” and it feels like you’re being thrown from point A to point Z. You go from living with your parents to having to figure it out all by yourself. 0 transitional phase.
And not to mention, they sell you a false dream when you’re in college.
I hustled to finish my degree and graduated early with the idea that I’d get a good-paying job, and from there I’d build a career in corporate.
I wouldn’t have a problem finding a job as long as I have a degree… they said.
Maybe other companies would want me once I have a degree and work for a few years.
Nope.
Second, the job market and inflation
Ah. Our wonderful job market and complementary inflation.
I had an average paying job as a technical writer–by average, I mean a job that paid me $4800 a month on paper, but what made it into my bank account after taxes was really $3600.
That $3600 was then used on $2045 rent, $200-700 car bills (it fluctuated), $200 of gas, and roughly $300 for food monthly, excluding electricity, wifi, and phone bills.
Oh yeah, and I live in California.
Inflation was at 9.1%.
There was no way I could save a significant amount of money for future plans like business or travel.
I decided to search for a new job with a higher salary since I had a couple of years under my belt.
I spent nearly a year applying to all types of writing jobs, perfecting my resumé, and portfolio, and reaching out to recruiters on LinkedIn.
Nothing. Not even a single interview.
When I log on to LinkedIn, I see people who’ve applied to 400+ jobs without a single call back.
This job market is devastating and inflation rates have set our generation back. It’s no wonder we feel lost.
Let’s add some research
According to a popular study done by the University of Cambridge, people don’t fully become adults until they reach their 30s.
Professor Peter Jones states that the transition between childhood and adulthood actually spans about 3 decades.
Additionally, the National Institutes of Health defines the ages of 30–45 as “established adulthood,” where people generally have their lives together, with a career, a partner, children, etc.
They state that there could be variations in when established adulthood starts, as economic and social changes continue to happen.
That’s a great point, as studies show there’s a direct relationship between brain development and the external environment in children.
Could it be that this happens to adults under 30 as well, but at a different rate?
I haven’t seen much research on it, but it makes sense.
According to MIT, the human brain doesn’t reach full maturity until at least 25 years old. The prefrontal cortex constantly changes in young adults. As we grow, our brain starts to transmit signals more efficiently, allowing for problem-solving, prioritizing, self-evaluation, long-term planning, and emotional regulation to take place with less effort.
Dr. Amen, a favorite psychiatrist of mine, states that our prefrontal cortex doesn’t finish developing until about 25–27 years old. He also says that lifestyle habits like poor sleep, diet, smoking, and drinking can cause an overactive or underactive prefrontal cortex.
Final thoughts
Would it make a difference in our brain development if our economic stressors were alleviated and our education system was restructured to set us up for success?
Would we finally feel a sense of security and readiness before 30?
