Spiritual Upgrade as a Divine Gift

My spiritual awakening and personal upgrade

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Urgency for silence

I was going through all sorts of problems, from health issues to anger issues, to family issues, to misunderstandings with co-workers and friends, and workplace anxieties; anything I wanted, failed.

I wanted to escape these problems, the world’s chatter, and my mind’s continuous chatter.

My inner self begged me for silence.

This desperate need for silence and vivid dreams inspired me to start a spiritual practice. Friends from India connected me with an institution where I was initiated into Kriya Yoga. It is an advanced spiritual practice developed around breathing exercises known as pranayama.

I was instantly drawn to Kriya Yoga like a fish to water.

I also found Zen principles of mindfulness extremely helpful, which I had already begun before starting my Kriya Yoga practice, so I combined the two, as there was no conflict.

Higher Power & Divine Feminine

I have always believed in a Higher Power and trusted that my qualities would not be overlooked. Because I could not fit into the world around me, I needed something to hold onto, and it was my faith that a Higher Power exists.

My faith was now changing into knowing.

I began having physical and energy shifts a few months into my practice. They were not scary, but they were significant enough to disrupt my everyday lifestyle. At the time, I sourced information that educated me on the stages of awakening, and the role of the Divine Feminine.

There are records of harsher shifts, but fortunately, that was not the case for me.

Through varied experiences, I perceived the Divine Feminine as the beautiful and powerful nurturing force transforming my life beyond comprehension.

I felt the graceful presence of the Divine Feminine in every bit of my existence in a profound way.

Dark Night and Healing

My journey has not ended; I believe, once triggered one’s awakening is a lifelong process of transforming into a better version of oneself.

I’m unsure of when it all began because I experienced several early indications during childhood. The difficulties of the past feel like a period of intense spiritual turmoil, as happens in Dark Night of the Soul.

I also realized:

• The phases of trauma or painful episodes in life may occur in stages and with varying intensities.
• Every painful stage brings about deep learning and forges one into a stronger and wiser person.
• The sequence of stages may not follow a linear path and can occur cyclically.

What is to give light must endure the burning. — Unknown

My signs of awakening

• Disrupted sleep pattern. I complete a 15-minute pranayama session as a bedtime ritual, allowing me deep sleep most nights.
• Vivid dreams include nightmares, predictive messages, Angel number sightings, and hearing music. I journal my dreams daily and take instructions through them. For example, I had a sore throat for a few days, and in my dreams, someone gave me a few cloves and it helped when I took some.
• Experiencing synchronic events. I saw a roadside hoarding reading, “Put your worries to rest,” while I was worrying about my laptop that I left at Heathrow Airport. Later the same day, I received notice from Heathrow’s Security of a found laptop; it was indeed my laptop.
• A heightened intuitive ability that helps with decision-making, and in sensing inauthenticity and manipulative behavior (which may cause problems when it is difficult to process so much truth)!
• A heightened level of love and compassion for everyone and everything.
• A closer connection with the natural world.
• An ability to find a teacher everywhere, and a willingness to learn from everyone.
• Changing nutritional habits. I cannot eat heavy or processed foods any longer, but I still crave sweet milk products and cheese on occasion. I allow my body to have what it desires but only eat in moderation.
• An inclination toward spiritual reading and discourse. I was always an avid reader, but my tastes have matured and I am now inclined to read or listen to discourse about deep spirituality. My retention capacity has increased, too. However, I still love to watch good movies and listen to music, which helps me remain grounded.
• The materialistic aspect has become of lesser importance, althought still want to earn money but not accumulate wealth. My happiness now comes from within, even if I have less money.
• Self-introspection has become a hobby, and it involves meditation and journaling; meditation recharges me and helps me maintain an emotional balance.
• A slight disconnect between old friends and family. This one was tricky to handle as I lost connection with most of my family members and old friends. It did not happen in a day, but I am rarely left with anyone I can call my own today. However, the best part is that I am not much bothered about myself or my own; I feel more pain for a stranger, so how do I know who I feel closer to?
• Moments of existential crisis including bouts of depression. I have them too, but I always bounce back, though not always very easily. Whenever it happens, I first pause negative thoughts; remind myself that the world is beautiful and life is a gift; and then consider the steps to regain balance, mostly through meditation or grounding.
• An increasing sense of service to others. I am urged to be of service to others. I am still unaware of what, when, and how I will fulfill this, but I believe the Higher Power will show me the way.
• Change in outward perception. The most significant and beautiful development is that my perception of the world has completely changed. I no longer judge anybody or anything. I accept others the way they are. I am less troubled and never angry! I have control of myself and my thoughts and actions!
• My perspective on problems has shifted. With greater self-control, I am better equipped to handle challenges. An improved understanding of others’ perspectives enables me to resolve conflicts effectively. It may sound like boasting that I can now foresee an upcoming conflict (probably by reading the unspoken words) and take steps in advance to prevent it.

Surrender to the process

I believe spiritual awakenings serve a purpose, regardless of how challenging or chaotic the awakenings appear.

Life’s purpose is a big thing in its own right, but even if ignored temporarily, I see myself as a much-improved person who thinks beyond her interests and is content with herself.

This progress gave me confidence in the awakening process, and as I became more confident, I also surrendered more to the process.

The more I surrendered, the calmer I became.

Learn to be calm and you will always be happy. — Paramahansa Yogananda.

I hope you find this helpful.

Thanks for reading!