The shattered self-confidenc

I know personally that how it feel when people continuously try to compress your rudimentary expression. These unsaid and unexpressed, suppressed impressions occur in intervals on unnecessary events.

I still remember when I was 10 years old, my parents withdrawn my name from well known English medium school. According to them i was not a perfect fit for 4th standard. Now imagine a girl been judged on the basis of 4th class study syllabus.

Those were the time I was naive and I was in the age of molding myself into initial experiences.

I was robust, energetic and ready to promote all the new chapters in my life. If i would have fail then I must’ve failed in 4th standard but instead of trying my self doubting journey begins from that year.

Questioning myself ended my vivacity to engrave my interests and capabilities on white Canvas.

However when i enrolled in new Hindi medium school,i already knew it’s not going to happen the way I want it.

The 10 year old girl voice was reciting in her head only because she doesn’t know how to arrange her cacophony on the public stage.

Soon the years passed, I cleared my 10th with decent percentage “with higher marks in English”

During my academics i always had been scoring a bedazzle score in English subject.

I prove to myself atleast that i was capable for English medium school too but whenever i look around I see my reality where i am and where my creator thinks I should be.

As much as she aroused her question about her admission a sudden flabbergasted situation came to bed.

By passing years she cleared her 12th

Now it’s the time her to enter college.

She told at her dwelling that she want to go another city to persuade her further studies so that she can shape up her future endeavours. But everyone disliked her proposal. As a consequence she completed her degree in government college. Everyone been criticised her, dismissed her for her choices and she kept on thinking that is she designed defective?

Her boyfriend too been shattering her self steam for another 12 years of her life.

The self doubt now was buried in her as a rudimentary aspect.

She now begun to ostracize herself till now the age of 29.

She wished she could get one believer in her life span. Her sanguine attitude now at the Verge of end.

She wish her family,her creators could uplift her rather than putting her on the road of negligence and doubts.