The other day, a couple of weeks ago, I put on my walking shoes and headed out for a brisk walk around the public track where I stay.
On the track, exactly 180 degrees from me on the other end, were a couple of middle aged women walking stridently and talking non-stop on their evening gossip hour. I thought to myself that I should try to overtake them within the next three rounds, just to spice up my every evening routine. With that in mind, I began. One foot in front of the other at a speed never attempted by me, determined to cross them. Low and behold the distance between us kept on decreasing. I was about fifty yards away, then inched my way to thirty yards, then closer at twenty-five yards. I was huffing and puffing as the gap became shorter than 10 yards.
It was then, that suddenly, both women decided to stop and walk off the track and take a break. And that was it. The goal dissolved even before I had a chance to complete it. That moment was frustrating, amusing, and bruising to the ego all at the same time. You see, while walking I was imagining how I would cross them, over take and eventually be half a lap ahead. I was mentally applauding my speed, stamina, and ‘grit’ even before making it because I was so close. I could taste this personal victory.
The pandemic has been like these two women walking off the field for a number of projects that were just about to take off but couldn’t… My project at that time was one of them. Just as we were ready to deploy and reap the benefits, schools across the globe were shut down. Poof!! Just like that!!
Are all goals in life like this? So dependent on external forces that you never really are in control? Are we, rather I, foolish enough to believe that I can achieve any goal so long as I put in the requisite effort? Or that, when we do not make it, it is because we did not try hard enough?
My father always said, if you tried harder, you would have gotten a seat in a medical college. For years I believed him. doubted my effort and my steadfastness in the goal. Now, I cannot help but wonder about all the external forces at play; some known in the form of postal strikes and others hitherto unknown.
We often talk about setting goals and working hard and that anything is possible if we put in requisite amounts of effort. We talk about goal or purpose-based life and living. We fail to discuss at length, disappointment and failure that is sure to come our way from time to time. We talk about success stories, even discuss failures that turned into success, the eternal stories of hope and not giving up. Do we ever discuss those failures that never saw success? Do we ever discuss failure despite the protagonist doing everything right? Do we ever discuss the fact that sometimes failure may occur through no fault of your own? because sometimes, things just do not work out.
There is a danger of giving up on goals and turning to a life where you just take on whatever comes your way with no real direction or purpose, especially when someone has been disappointed one too many times. This danger is greater for young adults who have just begun experimenting with stretching their limits and testing their capabilities by setting themselves challenging goals.
How do we deal with this conundrum in our classes where we want students to pursue goals but we also know that the overall success rates may be dismal.
There are those who believe that even when things are not working out, they are still working in your favour. They are the ones who have faith in fate and the universe.
Hmmm. Perhaps. Who knows?
Maybe if I had crossed those two women, I would have ended up with a cramp in my foot or worse, would have tripped right in front of them and looked like a complete clutz. No… the more I think of this, the more I feel that such a viewpoint is just an excuse to make me feel better about not making it. It does not take away from the disappointment.
To goal or not to goal? I’m on the fence on this one.