Solitude / Life Lesson

Why I Spend Most of My Time Alone (And Have Very Few Friends)

If I’d known this it would have made life x10 easier

Zohvib
Real
Published in
4 min readMar 14, 2024

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Zohvib. Solitude
Photo by Yogendra Singh on Unsplash

In a world that can’t stop talking, choosing silence is like choosing to walk upstream.

  • Weird? Maybe.
  • Powerful? Absolutely.

Blaise Pascal once noted,

“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”

There’s a stark, raw beauty in solitude that many miss because they’re too busy chasing the next social high.

Here’s the thing;

Society tells us that being surrounded by people is the key to happiness.

But let’s call it what it is — a myth.

Being alone isn’t a sign of social leprosy.

It’s a sign that you’re brave enough to face yourself, to tune out the noise and tune into your own thoughts, your own creativity, your own, well, you.

Why do I spend most of my time alone and keep my circle tighter than a new pair of shoes?

Not because I dislike people, but because I value my time, my peace, and the genuine connections I choose to make.

In this fast-paced, hyper-connected world, choosing solitude is like choosing to be the captain of your own ship.

So, buckle up.

We’re about to dive into why embracing your alone time isn’t just okay — it’s important.

Solitude ≠ Loneliness

In the grand theater of life, solitude often gets cast as the loner in the corner, the one nobody wants to talk to at parties.

But here’s a hot take;

Solitude is the unsung hero of personal growth.

As Henry David Thoreau wisely said,

“I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude.”

And trust me, Thoreau knew a thing or two about rocking the solo vibe in his cabin at Walden Pond.

Being alone isn’t about turning your back on the world; it’s about turning your face towards your own inner universe.

It’s where you get to be the director, the actor, and the audience of your own life’s play without anyone else whispering their lines.

In these moments of solitude, you’re not just passing time; you’re doing the hard, messy, beautiful work of building yourself.

My journey into the heart of solitude wasn’t about escaping people; it was about finding myself in the clutter of expectations and social scripts.

It was in the silence of my own company that I laughed louder at my own jokes, pondered over my quirks, and danced without care — not because there was no one to watch, but because I was truly content with the audience of none.

And here’s the kicker: the more I embraced solitude, the more I realized it was a superpower.

It allowed me to recharge, refuel my creative tanks, and return to the social arena not as a participant who dreads the game but as a player who knows his worth.

So, before you label solitude as the realm of the antisocial or the abandoned, remember this…

It’s a choice.

A choice to grow, to reflect, and to engage with yourself on a level that no party, no gathering, and certainly no crowded room can offer.

Solitude is where you meet the most interesting person in your life — YOU.

The Real Social Network

Forget about amassing followers or padding your contacts list.

The real deal?

It’s about crafting those few, precious connections that light up your world brighter than a firework display on the Fourth of July.

So, how do we pivot from being social butterflies to becoming architects of deeper relationships?

  • Audit your circle: Keep the enrichers, ditch the diminishers.
  • Be all in: When you’re with someone, be truly present.
  • Share the real you: Vulnerability is the golden ticket to genuine bonds.

Imagine this;

Every interaction you have is like a brushstroke on the canvas of your relationship.

Some strokes are broad and bold, others delicate and nuanced, but each one contributes to the masterpiece.

  1. Your time
  2. Your attention
  3. Your authenticity

These are your tools. Use them wisely.

The goal isn’t a trophy case of acquaintances but a treasure chest of relationships that are as rich in depth as they are in trust and mutual respect.

It’s about finding your tribe in a sea of faces and knowing that, while your circle might be small, its value is immeasurable.

So, invest in people like they’re blue-chip stocks.

The returns?

They’re beyond what money can buy.

In Closing

Let’s circle back with a nugget of truth from Abraham Lincoln;

“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”

Now, imagine applying that to the realm of solitude and the connections we choose to nurture.

This week, let solitude be your guide.

Carve out a moment for yourself — a silent walk, a peaceful hour with a book, or just a few minutes of mindful breathing.

In this quiet, ask yourself,

“Who brings true value to my life?”

Then, in the spirit of Lincoln, reach out to that person.

Maybe share an insight you gained in solitude or simply express gratitude for their presence in your life.

Remember, it’s in the quiet moments of solitude that we often find the loudest truths about ourselves and our connections.

Let’s make every moment — and every connection — count.

-Zohvib

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