EARLY-TO-MID TWENTIES AND STRUGGLING TO FIND YOUR WAY? HERE’S WHY THAT’S A GOOD THING.
Every year around this time, a new generation of twenty-somethings graduates from some sort of education and makes their way into the ‘real’ world. I was in that position a year ago, and I was dreading the thought of having to go out there. I was 24 and I was struggling with defining what my role in the world was going to be. A year later, I can look back and say that it’s very natural to be in your twenties and be struggling. As a matter of fact, it’s a good thing!
First thing to realise is that it’s completely logical if you feel a bit stuck or lost. Consider the fact that from the age of four, you were set on a journey of around twenty years of school. That’s two decades (!) of structure and predictability. To illustrate, when I was first sent to school:
Earth’s population was less than 6 billion (it’s 7.4 billion now),
Pokemon Red and Blue didn’t exist yet.
Hipster computers looked like this:
And Ajax was still relevant in Europe.
Yes, it was that long ago.
So no wonder we fall into a bit of a hole upon graduation. That’s around 20 years of structure and predictability that’s suddenly gone. For me, this caused somewhat of a quarter-life crisis, alongside which came questions such as ‘ok so now what?’ and ‘I know it’s always been expected of me to go to school, but what do I want?’ Ironically, for me it took a turn away from traditional education to finally get the feeling of being in full control of my future. It took me a few months, but I figured I take a chance by moving to Amsterdam to enrol in experience design, and now I’m seizing my potential as a future leader in the creative industry.
Aside from the sudden full-stop of classes and deadlines, the times we live in are also an important stress factor to consider. We live in an age where for the first time ever, a whole generation is moving away from the traditional school-career-retirement model. As a generation, us twenty-somethings have an entirely different attitude toward money and work than most of our parents and grandparents. Of course we understand that we need money to live comfortably, but most of us will agree that money is a tool, not a goal. Work no longer suffices as just a way to generate income. We are privileged enough to be able to demand a sense of emotional fulfilment and joy from our daily efforts. Work is for people, jobs are for robots.
This breakaway from the traditional school-work-retirement model is significant, and the ‘real world’ is only just beginning to catch on. On the one hand, this is of course scary. We have no examples to learn from in past generations, so it truly comes down to ourselves to define how we want to proceed in creating a meaningful and fulfilling life. The increasingly individualised nature of our society also means that, aside from our parents, we have few or no life mentors or coaches that take us by the hand when we need some guidance.
On the other hand, it also means that we get to establish an entirely new norm. We get to decide what a happy and fulfilling work life looks like, and our children will be able to further build on that.
Do we want to save up all our joy for our retirement, or do we make it so that we never want to retire anyway?
The next thing to consider is that, out of all the age categories, your twenties are the most perfect time to be thrown out there to struggle for a bit. Think about it: you’re old enough to be able to watch Netflix whenever the hell you want, but young enough to not have to worry about wives and husbands and children and mortgages and all that other scary grown up stuff. If school is the training, your twenties are the practice match. Now is the time to try new things, to take risks, to mess things up. You don’t have to get things right straight away, that’s the beauty of being in your twenties! Just don’t let your fears get in the way of reinventing yourself and seeing what works and doesn’t work for you. Follow your passion, move to a new city, go travel. Do it now that you are still young, healthy, and independent.
It’s natural to go through a bit of a quarter-life crisis when you’re twenty-something and about to go into the ‘real’ world. I was dreading the thought of going out there a year ago.
Looking back, however, I can see that life only truly begins after school, and that the awkward post-education phase really is THE time to reflect, experiment and take chances. If you know what you want already, fearlessly pursue that. If you don’t, expose yourself to as many different things as possible and surround yourself with people that positively stimulate you. Overcoming my fears and worries about going out there, and truly choosing for myself has brought me nothing but growth and opportunities.
In this day and age, if you are young and healthy, there really is no reason not to realise your dreams. Start by imagining everything you have to gain, and ask yourself not what’s the worst, but what’s the best that can happen?
Jeff McNair was a student from the Experience Design program in Amsterdam and is currently content manager at ADCN, the embassy of creativity in the Netherlands.
He is fascinated by everything that makes us humans human, and passionate about making a positive difference in the world we live in. Head over to his blog to learn more.
