Being Hard on Yourself?
It’s ok. Its a place we’ve all been in.
But you don’t have to stay there.
When you find your day’s not going how you planned, you’re not where you want to be, or you just feel less than you hope to be…
Remind yourself of these three key points:
1. You are always learning.
Life is simply a cycle of problems and solutions.
By being conscious of this cycle, you remove the illusion that your problem is bigger or harder to solve than it actually is.
As you flow through this natural cycle, you will begin to bridge the gap between problems and solutions with what you learn. The more you reflect and learn from a specific problem, the faster you will reach a solution and overcome what was once a problem.
With this perspective in mind, it is important to develop a healthy understanding of mistakes and “failures”.
“You are not your mistakes: they are what you did, not who you are.” — Lisa Lieberman-Wang
After a mistake or “failure” remind yourself that you are always learning and there is always the opportunity to reflect on your mistakes, learn from them and try not to make them a second time.
As Lisa Lieberman-Wang elegantly said, you are not the mistakes you make. They are something you did, not something you are.
Let go of the expectation to always make the right decision, because no one in the world can do that. Instead allow yourself to run towards something, see mistakes as a means to teach you how to improve, readjust and keep running!
2. Love yourself for how far you’ve come.
Sometimes we get so focused on the challenges we see in front of us, that we forget about the challenges we’ve overcome in the past.
Take a step back, remind yourself of how far you have come and appreciate yourself for how much progress you have made. You would not have the challenges in front of you, if you hadn’t overcome the challenges from your past.
“Remember how far you’ve come, not how far you have to go. You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be.” — Rick Warren
Gratitude is always a great tool to use when trying to get out of a negative mindset. It helps wash away the unwanted thoughts and feelings of not being or doing enough.
Take a second and be grateful for:
- the progress you have made so far
- how much you have grown and learned
- the people you have met along the way
By taking a second in any situation to reflect and be grateful, we help ground ourselves and prepare to take on what’s next, with a fresh and focused mind.
3. You have control over turning your day around.
The day is not over until you go to bed. Everyday is a new start.
We all get those realizations at 3pm that you haven’t done one thing on the list you made for yourself the night before.
It’s discouraging to set expectations for yourself and realize that you allowed your usual distractions to take over your day and lead you away from the person you hoped to be that day.
I get it. I’ve been there. I still have those days.
Here is what’s helped me in those moments…
- Take responsibility for my actions with compassion
- Realize the day is not over
- Decide how I would like the rest of my day to go
- Take the necessary action.
Pro Tip: Focus on one task at a time. Break it down, write it down and keep it simple. Then move on to the next task and repeat.
We can all be too hard on ourselves sometimes.
So it is important to constantly refresh our perspective and see the real story. Not just the negative one we keep telling ourselves.
Take a deep breath, step back and see the full picture. Not just your mistakes, but your achievements and success too.
Take it easy. ✌️
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