Gillette & toxic masculinity — dispatch from the gender war

The new advertisement from Gillette has acted as the latest lightning rod for the culture war, racing to over thirteen million views in less than four days, but also an unprecedentedly negative reaction on YouTube with over 750,000 dislikes and highly negative comments.

The reaction seems to have taken many by surprise, who simply don’t understand why anyone could disagree with what they see as the central message of the ad, that men should evolve to a masculinity that ditches some of the ‘toxic’ behaviours of the past.

Some have concluded that the reception of the film — particularly the firestorm of criticism on YouTube — is evidence that toxic masculinity is at epidemic proportions.

I think this is a huge mistake, and is likely to lead to even more polarisation between the sexes. In this article I’m going to try to explain why so many have reacted badly to it, and try to sketch out a place beyond the current gender war.

I’m a journalist and filmmaker, and I also lead retreats for men called ‘The New Masculinity’, with almost exactly the same aim, to allow men to become better versions of themselves. I also agree that masculinity is itself in crisis and a new model is…