I just turned 30! Here are the things I have done in my 20s that I can learn from.

Well, I wanted to celebrate my 30th birthday by doing something I’ve never done before which was going on a solo trip. Unfortunately, the pandemic situation is not very supportive so this is what I’m gonna do. WRITING!

For those of you who are just like me, you must be thinking “Fuckkk I’m 30!” I can’t help feeling so blue and it is most probably because of the fact that I’m no longer in my 20s, it can be pretty depressing. But then I tried looking back to all the things that happened in my life for the past 10 years, and I realized being 30 is like a life certificate and I have passed the difficult exams which in this case are all the dramas.

Now that I’m in my 30s, I wanna reflect back to the life lessons I have learnt and how to make the best of these. I’ve done so many stupid mistakes but who hasn’t? The least we can do is to admit it, learn from it, and do better.

So here you go!

1. Careers

I’m not saying I have the best career right now and this is exactly what I wanna do in life. Not even close. But at least after exploring a few different jobs, different hobbies, you start to realize what makes you happy or unhappy. I remember when I started working at 22, I wanted to be a banker because I thought it was such a cool job, nice clothes, in a prestigious office. But thank God, I didn’t manage to get there, and not that it is a shitty job but definitely not for me. It looked so cool because I envied my friends and I wanted to have what they had. Having seen as someone so successful and rich, who doesn’t want that? But that’s the problem. It’s all about how I wanted people to see me.

Everyone always wants to do something that they really enjoy but they’re just too afraid to do it because they don’t think you can make a career out of it. Even I was like that too, I still am..sometimes but that doesn’t mean my life is meaningless just because I don’t entirely enjoy what I do now. It hasn’t been an easy thing to know what you really want to do. At least now I can focus more on what really matters to me. A lot of people say they just want to be happy, but what we don’t realize is that we have no idea the definition of happiness, what makes us happy. Now I’m at the stage of my life where I know better what I wanna do that makes me happy. Is it too late? Well, of course, I wish I could have figured that out sooner but hell no it is never too late. I needed to make the wrong decisions to get to this stage.

So I am so excited to start my 30s to really pursue the kind of happiness I’ve always wanted to have in my career. We will see how this goes but I have a good feeling about this.

2. Friendships

Friends come and go but that’s okay! In your 20s, you hang out with a bunch of different people, from friends to go party with, co-workers, to college’s friends. You will realize some of these people are only there for you just to have fun with which is fine. You need these people to distract yourself from all the problems you have because you don’t need to discuss any of them. But as we grow older, we start focusing on what matters the most and having real friends is one of them.

I have learnt that it is totally okay to stay away from your toxic friends even though they are nice to you. If their behaviours are draining your positive energy, then you don’t have to keep them as close friends. I feel my life has less drama after “getting rid” of them but I still keep in touch with them once in a while, making small talks and that’s it. I keep only those who have stayed with me through ups and downs, those who have been supportive of whatever decision I’ve made and honest with me all the time. Sometimes you just need someone to give you a slap in the face so you can wake up and be a better person. That’s the kind of person I value the most in my life.

I’m proud of myself for choosing the right friends and knowing when to set boundaries with those people who don’t matter because I know for sure who will always have my back.

3. Love life

Oh boy, how am I going to start with this? I can say that in my 20s, my life was mainly occupied with the love drama. It was a hell of a roller-coaster ride and insanely frustrating. I had my first love when I was 20 and he was the only important thing in my life and I thought the purpose of life was just to be with him. He was like my source of happiness. I know it sounds so pathetic but yeah that happened. I also started hooking up with different guys as well in my mid-20s and yes it was definitely fun but emotionally draining as hell.

I don’t regret being stuck with the wrong guy for years or having casual relationships with different guys. What I definitely learnt from all those experiences was the lack of self-love. I didn’t put myself first and I expected other people to give me that little bit of happiness. Although I am still single now, I can tell you that I am much happier than I was in a relationship. Toxic relationships can either change you or break you but in my case, I feel like I’m a whole different person now..in a good way. I’m still grateful shit happened, it’s made me the person I am today.

What I can say is that I want to love myself more now so when the time comes, the next person I’m gonna be with deserves to get the best version of me. I know how it feels to love someone so much, you will do anything. So that’s what I’m going to do from now on. I will do anything to make me feel good, happy and grateful.

Honestly, I don’t think I’m wise enough that I will always make the best decision from now on. But at least I can start focusing on how to live my life better knowing all the things I have learnt in my 20s.

So let’s embrace our 30s with a smile as it is going to be so exciting. Be positive, enjoy life and love yourself!