When Were You Promoted? How Superhero Leaders Might Not Save the Day.
When do superheroes hand over their capes or get a day off?
Of the hundreds of business founders and leaders we’ve coached, the vast majority had one childhood experience in common: being put in a parenting role as a kid.
When children are put in situations where they feel they must be the peacemakers in a family, or they assume caretaking of an adult, we call it elevation.
This can have all kinds of unhealthy, unsettling, even lifelong ramifications for children who are the mediators in their parents’ arguments or take charge of an adult’s well-being. But it is also not surprising that early elevation may also contribute to a child growing into a strong leader who focuses on caring for others.
At work, these leaders find themselves and their acquired skills in positions where they support teams, investors, and customers. That is an incredible value. But these skills and elevation experiences also have a shadow side.
These leaders may go far beyond supporting other people to stepping in with a superhero mindset of saving every citizen and situation.
Superhero leaders may seem to carry the whole world on their shoulders, and always be the first to jump in to solve a big problem. And it works! This is why investors might invest in them. This is how they’re able to rally a team behind them to solve big problems.
But superhero leaders may also struggle to delegate to others, and they can burn out easily. After all, when do superheroes hand over their capes or get a day off?
Another thing we note with superhero business leaders is that they often create a culture of good versus evil around themselves to help maintain the identity that now feels very natural to them. There’s no need for a hero without an evil nemesis to fight back against or the people of Gotham who require rescuing.
The villain might be a competitor or investor who’s pulled out, an employee who quit unexpectedly, or a failed product. The victims might be team members who put in hours and years to develop the business, the customers who need a solution to their problem, or a struggling intern who can’t seem to get it right. Even if no real threat or vulnerability exists, a superhero leader may create them out of a need to express this identity fully and consistently.
It’s no surprise that this can lead to all kinds of internal conflict — between team members, without advisors, among outside stakeholders. It can also stir up investor challenges and poor customer experiences. Superhero leaders can unintentionally bottleneck scaling the company because only one person believes they hold the fate of the business in their hands. For the leader who wears the S on their chest, there is certainly serious burnout and isolation awaiting them around the next corner.
The good news (cue the triumphant music) is that one subtle shift can actually save the superhero leader from all these problems. When these leaders shift their focus to the occasional action of being heroic rather than carrying the identity of The One and Only Hero at all times, they begin to capitalize on their strengths while saving and sustaining their energy, teams, and vision.
Heroic leaders are not the sole identity of the business. They might leap tall buildings, dodge business bullets, and many other feats, but they are also able to let down, let go, delegate, and see the world, their work, and their team as more than villains and victims that they alone can liberate.
What happens when a heroic leader does get a day off? They release stress, nurture relationships, and make space for creative thinking. That can only be good for the leader and the business. And what happens when a leader changes out of the strict superhero identity? Team members have opportunities to step into their own powers, there’s room to see the nuances and value of criticism and failures and the feeling of collaboration and community swell.
Here’s one way to think through your own superhero tendencies and find ways to morph into the heroic leader you’re called to be.
Journal exercise:
Take a few moments to reflect on your experience as a leader. Spend some time with each of these questions, noticing what emerges and journaling through it:
- What was my childhood like? Was I a peacekeeper? A pleaser? What was my orientation toward my family?
- Do I have trouble delegating? If so, why? What comes up for me when I delegate?
- How often do I get burned out?
- What are my moods like? What seems to play a role in my moods?
- If I was the hero, what would that look like in practice?
- If I was simply heroic, what would that look like in practice?
- How might I be more effective as someone that acts heroically rather than the hero?
- What might I lose that I value if I give up the hero identity? Is there anything important that I need to make sure is true if I were to give up the identity?
- What is one thing I can do this week to practice making this change?
