Embracing the Universal Truth and Reality of Life

Lessons Learnt From The Journey Of Loss

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I cannot erase the poignant memory of my mother’s loving gaze as I carefully fed her drops of water a few hours before she departed from this world last week.

At midnight, she sought water. In the final days leading up to her passing, swallowing had became a difficult task for her. Thus, I delicately administered drops of water to moisten her lips and mouth.

While feeding her at midnight, she fixated on me, her eyes filled with affection, before slowly closing them. The weight of her breath hung in the air, heavy and labored.

During the last two days before her departure, my husband and I took turns sitting by her side through the night. Her oxygen levels plummeted, and her pulse rate soared. The daytime was entrusted to a vigilant caregiver who monitored my mother’s vital signs continuously.

At night, my husband and I assumed the role of caregivers, ensuring her comfort.

Saying a final farewell to a cherished soul slipping away is an agonizing experience. Despite my mental preparation, tears flowed uncontrollably.

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.”- Washington Irving

Last year, around the same time, she was diagnosed with dementia, and the doctor had outlined the challenging journey ahead. Mental preparation notwithstanding, facing the reality proved exceptionally difficult.

Today, even a week after her demise, a lingering guilt persists. I question myself, wondering if I did everything I could to ensure her happiness and prolong her life.

Before embarking on her final journey, I whispered in her ear, “Mom, I love you. Forgive me for all my mistakes.” With those words, I bid her a heartfelt farewell.

The death of a loved one can serve as a profound teacher. Steve Jobs once remarked that death was life’s greatest invention, instilling an urgency to understand how we live and compelling nature’s adaptation. Each generation strives to improve the future.

Much like the sun’s predictable journey from east to west, the rhythm of life is unchangeable. Every day sun rises in the east and at the end of the day sets in the west. No one has the power to change this rhythm. We don’t grieve for it.

Rather than grieving, channelling the grief into positive actions is advisable. While this may seem simple, it requires cultivating a spirit of detachment and realizing the impermanence of everything in the universe.

In the past week, I have found solace in prayers and cherishing the fond memories shared with my mother.

Lessons Learned

1. The impermanence of Life: The journey from birth to death is akin to the sun’s rise and set — a natural rhythm that cannot be altered. Accepting this impermanence is crucial for navigating the complexities of loss.
2. Urgency and Adaptation: Death imparts an urgency to understand the essence of life and encourages adaptation. It prompts reflection on how we can contribute positively to the world.
3. Spirit of Detachment: Developing a spirit of detachment and renunciation is essential. Realizing that everything in the universe is temporary allows a more profound understanding of life’s transient nature.

In embracing these lessons, we honour the memory of our departed loved ones and find meaning in the face of profound loss.

“We do not have to rely on memories to recapture the spirit of those we have loved and lost — they live within our souls in some perfect sanctuary which even death cannot destroy.”- Nan Witcomb

Thankyou for reading !!

Reading Lynn L. Alexander , about her mother’s death and the transition she went through, resonated with me,

My Mother’s Death Was a Transition for Us Both

Another story that I liked by Christina

The Wake-Up Call That Forced Me to Prioritize Self-Care and Find Balance in a Busy Life