I Have My Grandparent’s Headstones
What should I do with them?
Fifteen years ago I visited the area where my grandparents homesteaded on Vancouver Island. One of the stops was the church where they are buried. It is a lovely little country church that my grandfather helped build. My mother was christened in it.
The church was just down the road from where my grandfather used to have a blacksmith shop.
I noticed that my grandparent’s original upright limestone headstones, whose lettering had been badly worn by rain, had been replaced by granite headstones that were flush with the ground. I assume that was done by one of the cousins that still live in the area.
As I wandered around the site I noted a pile of trash at the back of the church property that included some old headstones. As I checked them out I discovered that they were my grandparent's original headstones.
I still don’t know why but I found the fact that they were simply discarded made me uneasy. It was as if tossing them into a trash pile was somehow disrespectful. So I took them home.
At the time I was living in Alaska. I had taken my wife, who had never been to the area before, on a driving vacation to Vancouver Island. We were considering whether it was a place to retire when the time came. So the headstones travelled with us back to Anchorage, Alaska.
Since then they’ve moved with us to Victoria, B.C., Canada and then finally to Pender Island, B.C. where we have our retirement home. Now the headstones wait for me to decide what to do with them.
It’s not like I can hang them on the wall like art. Or place them in the yard as if my grandparents were buried there. No one else in the extended family would want them. So they sit in the basement, waiting.
I realize they are just carved pieces of stone that have no particular value or significance. Eventually, I am going to die and I don’t want to leave it to someone else to have to deal with what to do with them. Otherwise, they’ll probably still end up on a trash heap. The less “stuff” I leave at the end, the better.
Yet it still feels disrespectful to just throw them out.
Do you have any suggestions?
I would love to hear them.
Thank you for reading my article. If you found it interesting, here is another of my pieces that I really enjoyed writing. One would think that my Taoist beliefs would make it easier to resolve this particular quandary, but apparently not.
Here are some articles by writers who inspire me to write. If you enjoyed my article, perhaps you will also enjoy theirs:
Here is a lovely poem from Kerstin Krause that makes me think of my grandfather and his travels from his birthplace in Scotland to his final resting place in the churchyard above.
I was inspired to write this piece by Sahil Patel’s article about Yana Bostongirl’s new column, ‘Colors of Life. Rather than the sadness of death, the column focuses on the joys of living a full life, problems and all.
If you enjoyed these articles, please remember to let the authors know. We who sit alone and write can always use encouragement.
I wish to thank the following people who have commented on and/or clapped for my articles in the last week or so. It is the encouragement from people like you that makes the writing process worthwhile:
Teresa Roberts Rebecca S Goring George Snodgrass Patrick Testa Karen K Tom Hanratty Dr. Preeti Singh Phil Perry Kirsten Held Lenese Herbert FranMorelandJohns Abdul M Hassan Wendy St. John Roz Potenza Beth Bruno Ted Czukor MW Albert Begin Wendi Gordon Michele Maize (The Sober Vegan Yogi) Bruce Murray Joyce Nielsen Annie Gramson Hill Mary Louisa Cappelli, MFA, JD, PhD Suma Narayan Teresa JoAnne Wallis John Kennon William J Spirdione Jenny Lane Beth Bach Diana Meresc Marianne Simon Johnmooner-chief Saba Haider Donnette Anglin Sahil Patel David Jardine Bill Markos Adelina Vasile David Mokotoff Adventure Gift Store Tony Gibson Ann Leach Maureen Smith DeveNdra Gianfranco Vigneri Sachin Kuruttukulam Shannon Devereaux Sanford Coastal Gale Kyle Stevens Stardust Musings Sharon Zollman Patricia Hamlett Laurn W. Bedingfield Nour Boustani Joy DeSomber Michael Airton Levexcapitals The Autlaw M. Meyers Eugenio De Lucchi Lisnaomi Szymon Olkowski Sam Cook Fatima Mazhar Fay Pene Hodge Robin Klammer Vicki Gross Mulan Graciela Mani Goel Keira Fulton-Lees Elene Gusch Elvie Lins Melissa Rust Patricia Latham Lisajperry Alice Blackburn JoAnn Ryan
Thank you for spending your time with me.
I wish you well!
