Reciprocal | Parenting
The Hidden Cost Of Strict Parenting
The Cost of Perfection
I am grateful that my parents were not overly strict during my childhood. However, I had a very close friend whose parents were very strict. Strict parents often set very high expectations from their children’s behaviour, performance, and achievements. They think discipline is the only way to prepare children for life.
My friend was taught that anything less than perfect was unacceptable. His parents always pressured him to get the first rank in school. I remember that in the eighth standard, he got the second rank due to his bad health during the exams. His parents were very unhappy with him. Despite being ill during the exam, he tried to get a second rank, which is appreciated. His parents meticulously monitored his grades, extracurricular activities, and even his friendships. Every mistake was met with punishment—groundings, extra chores, and an ever-growing list of rules to follow.
I saw him always under pressure trying to achieve everything to excel. The pressure left him with no time for relaxation and exploration of his hobbies.
Due to this, he used to become very fearful of making mistakes. He always tried to do everything with perfection which made him anxious and frustrated in the long run.
For kids, constant pressure can lead to burnout. I’ve never been a believer in strict parenting. I’ve also come across parents who believe that by using physical discipline, they can instill humility and groundedness in their children. I find this approach immature and ridiculous because it doesn’t contribute to a good future for the kids.
I had a classmate who was physically punished by their parents for not completing homework or waking up on time. I mean, they are children, and they are bound to make mistakes. Despite hitting them, as a parent, you should help them understand the importance of completing tasks and managing their time effectively.
In addition to that, I have also witnessed many parents of children who used to ask school and coach teachers to hit them to make them disciplined and improve their grades.
Respect for elders and authority is highly valued in many Indian families. Physical punishment can be perceived as a method to assert authority and ensure that children follow rules.
However, these can lead to behavioural issues, emotional issues, and ineffective learnings in long run.
There are ways by which you can improve your child’s well-being and make them disciplined too.
“To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.” — Barbara Johnson
I would like to mention the beautiful nature article by Dr. Preeti Singh
Wonderful drabble shared by Neera Handa Dr
