Life | Reciprocal| Writing
The Hidden Writer: Confronting the Need for Validation
From Pleasing Others to Pleasing Myself
I used to be someone who was more reserved about my feelings and beliefs. I am the type of person that lives in a mental cage where my opinions and beliefs come before those of others.
It’s not that I haven’t expressed myself since I was a child; I once had a lot to say. But as life began to happen to me, I gradually changed from my youth, first a little and then a lot.
"Within the depths of silence lies a world of untold stories, hidden passions, and profound understanding." - Unknown
I am a reserved person who keeps my feelings, ideas, and opinions to myself. I now seek comfort in solitude and tend to refuel my energies by spending time by myself. Even though I may not be expressive, I yet experience strong joy, sadness, or empathy but find it difficult to verbalise these feelings.
When I first started writing, I used to be really terrified of what people would think of my work. This emphasis on other people’s thoughts may cause you to tend towards writing what you really want to. To write about what I really wanted to write about was difficult for me. Due to a few factors, I was unable to write freely.
Vaildation and acceptance
Writers frequently look to their audience for approval and acceptance. They might be concerned that writing what they genuinely feel might not be properly received or valued by others. As I first began sharing my work with family and friends, I was terrified. I used to feel as though what they thought of my writing. This dread prevents me from writing honestly.
Self-doubt and imposter syndrome
Self-doubt and imposter syndrome are common experiences for writers, who frequently doubt their own skills and abilities. These insecurities may cause individuals to doubt their original concepts and choose what they believe to be more "acceptable" or "safe" writing options instead. For every writer out there, at least for me, writing something provocative or audacious is not an easy task.
Fear of criticism
Being a writer inevitably involves receiving criticism, which can be frightening. Writers may shy away from contentious or unorthodox subjects in favour of more conventional or well-liked ones out of fear of receiving unfavourable feedback or harsh criticism.
It took me quite sometime to understand that Writing authentically allows writers to express their true selves and share their unique perspectives, experiences, and ideas. It brings a sense of personal fulfillment and satisfaction, as they can fully embrace their creative voice and stay true to their artistic vision. Writing authentically helps you to bring unique perspective for writers shaped by individual background, experiences and worldview.
By prioritizing authenticity, writers can preserve their artistic integrity and create work that reflects their genuine voice and intentions.
"Authenticity is the key that unlocks the door to connection. Be real in your writing, and you will touch the souls of others." - Unknown
Recently, I read an article written by Yana Bostongirl titled "How My Date Ghosted Me After Reading My Blogs." In one of her articles, she posed a question: "Do you share your blogs with your family and friends?" After reading her article, I felt inspired to write this post.
My answer to her question is, "I do share my writing with my friends and family." However, I no longer care about how they feel about my writing. I strive to be authentic and write about what I want.
Dr. Preeti Singh shared an amazing post about meeting a Medium friend.
