A College Admissions Essay From The Future President Of The World
Dear Mikirken State University Admissions Board,
For my college entrance essay, I have chosen the three prompts:
- Why should we choose you for Mikirken State University?
- Tell us an experience that humbled you.
- What do you hope to accomplish at Mikirken State University?
I hope to prove with these essays that I am MSU material and will be a unique and valuable contribution to the MSU student body… and humanity.
Why should we choose you for Mikirken State University?
I have a 3.4 GPA, my SAT score is 1350, and I am the proud son of a hard-working single mother.
But my most important qualification is that I will become the first president of the world.
That is to say, that sometime in the year 2062, I will be inaugurated as the first president of the United World Order, a democratic, federal government with jurisdiction over the entire Earth.
Why do I know about my destiny?
Although I don’t have the full story, I have preened this information from the hundreds of time travelers who have visited, stalked and harassed me since my birth.
That might sound unusual, and it is.
At least, it is for normal people.
However, for People of Historical Interest (POHI), it’s quite regular. In fact, every POHI from the Egyptian King Narmer to the 24th century Cyber Warlord Bob has been swarmed by curious, fact-finding time travelers.
You might also think it’s strange that the time travelers have told me so much about my history. The truth is, they’re not supposed to reveal themselves as time travelers or tell me anything about the future.
But time travelers, while being generally intelligent people, are so enthusiastic about meeting historical figures that they tend to let things slip.
When I was four, our mailman would deliver mail three times a day and regularly ask if he could join us for breakfast in our home.
My mother assumed he was romantically interested in her, but it quickly became apparent that he was more interested in her parenting. What she fed me, what books she read to me, if I showed any traits that might facilitate my future greatness, etc.
He was writing a book.
They’re always writing a book.
When confronted with the fact that the post office had never heard of him and his uniform was clearly made of a chrome-colored, synthetic fiber unknown to modern science, he confessed.
Since then, my mother and I have become adept at spotting time travelers. They almost seem relieved when they’re exposed, admitting their professions, but adding that they cannot reveal anything about the future or risk dire consequences for the timeline and humanity’s destiny.
But slip-ups happen.
When I was nine, a woman asked me what influence the U.N. declaration of human rights had on my understanding of Neo-Gramscian International Relations theories.
I asked, “why?”
She said, “because you quote the declaration in your inauguration speech as first President of the United World Order in 2062.”
That’s when I knew.
Since that embarrassing slip-up, it’s been easier for me to collect information about my future self and explore why I would make a great MSU student from the perspective of Post-Doctorate level historical analysis.
In the future, I will lead a band of highly-talented individuals to save the planet from the worst effects of climate change, mitigate the chaos and violence caused by depleted world resources and unite all nations in the greatest endeavor ever taken to end war, forever.
Although I’m not the most brilliant POHI or the strongest, I have a high degree of honesty and moral courage, or so I’m told, and yet I am strangely evasive.
I will be regularly compared to Abraham Lincoln, although my place in history is closer to that of foundational leader like George Washington, speaking from a strictly American historical perspective.
Also, my favorite subjects are math and biology.
Tell us an experience that humbled you.
This answer is also related to the time traveler/future president of the world thing.
My college prep tutor told me that I needed to show a variety of experiences in my essays, but seeing as that tutor is also a time traveler in disguise, I have decided to write more about this particular aspect of my life.
I also realize that being a POHI with a constant retinue of time traveling observers hardly seems like a humbling experience.
Certainly, my mother has taken enormous pride in my future. She has used it as affirmation her all-bran breakfasts are the cornerstone of a healthy childhood. Time travelers seem reluctant or unwilling to dissuade her of that idea… unfortunately.
Nevertheless, many conversations have been disturbing.
Most travelers come from the years 2130 (roughly the year time travel was invented) through 2180. But I also get people from 2200 through 2240, a period where my legacy becomes “problematic.”
During my rise to power and administration I made (or will make) several compromises and had a variety of moral blind spots that were perfectly acceptable, or at least overlooked, until the year 2200, when citizens of the first world order start to “wake up.”
These moral failings include not recognizing Kurdistan, the Basque Country, Tibet, Somalia and France as independent states within the global federal system.
Supposedly, that’s due to the racism and ignorance of my “America-centric perspective.”
I also blocked amendments to the global constitution that would grant human rights to cyborgs and genetically enhanced humans. That backwards view will lead to a century of discrimination.
Time travelers tell me about these problems regularly with almost no observance of temporal law. I suspect that many of them hope to change the timeline, and maybe they have.
Whereas other time travelers are looking for the keys to greatness, these people are looking for the seeds of evil.
They hate bran.
My mother doesn’t like those travelers and tries to shoo them away whenever possible, but they keep coming. They argue a lot with historians that praise my administration. Sometimes, they’ll even start fist fights.
I used to argue with them too.
I’d become defensive and scream. Tell them they wouldn’t even be alive without future-me.
I’ve grown. I recognize their pain and try to listen now. They’re right to be angry or even hate me, because I could have easily made their lives easier by a simple admission of their humanity.
But I didn’t (or won’t).
These historians have made me realize that I’m not perfect, and I never will be.
How I come to forget these lessons in the future is beyond me. I suspect that I will be forced to compromise my morality for some sort of greater good.
I don’t know.
But I’m the only person who regrets something they haven’t done yet.
What do you hope to accomplish at Mikirken State University?
As you are probably aware, Mikirken State University currently ranks towards the bottom of universities nation-wide. There are almost no notable alumni or programs with significant acclaim.
I’m sorry for my honesty and the arrogance of this observation — but why would the future president of the world want to go to your university?
This application was inspired by one time traveler from the year 2567.
You see, after the year 2240, I stop being a POHI with such an emotionally controversial legacy and I start becoming a stale subject of academic interest.
I still get visitors from past that year, but they usually stay hidden, my failings and victories too distant to be provocative.
One morning, a dirty old man burst into my bedroom. His eyes were blood-shot and crazy. His hair hadn’t been washed in some time and he had a long, wiry beard.
He made no attempt to disguise himself for our time. Instead, his clothes were dirty and as grey as his beard.
I thought it was a time assassin, but before I could even scream, he held his hand to my mouth and pleaded with me to hear him out. I figured I had no other choice.
He told me that in his era, the government I founded is gone. The world is suffering from a terrible, man-made blight that’s left billions to starve to death. Competing cults have turned people against each other and freely destroy the world’s technological infrastructure and kill off engineers and scientists.
War and nuclear destruction envelope large sections of the planet. The ideals of justice, equality and freedom are taboo. Even the words used to describe them are being expunged from the future global languages.
The man told me he had saved the last known time traveling device and used its last charge to come talk to me.
He knew that in his distant past I prevented the horrors his world faced. He and his followers had come to worship me as their last hope for fixing a broken world.
And after telling me every detail of his time, he asked what I would do to heal the planet.
I said, “dude, I’m only 12.”
It wasn’t the answer he was looking for.
I never saw him again, and I’ve never seen a traveler from after 2567.
That doesn’t mean civilization was wiped out. It could be that my legacy was cleaned from history or time travel was banned or many other possibilities.
But getting back to the question — why MSU?
Right now, your institution may not be the best. And it won’t become significant in the next century. Or the century after that. Or the one after that.
Nevertheless, by 2567, it will be the last institution of higher learning left on the entire planet (at least, as far as that man knew). It’s from your university that that desperate man made his journey.
To be precise, he traveled from the basement of science center, which still exists in 2567.
I didn’t have an answer for him when I was twelve, but I plan on spending the next four years looking for one and leaving it for him.
I’ve been told (indirectly) that my college years don’t actually matter. There’s no record of my experiences during those years, and I will one day confess to being kind of idiot during this future time.
And so, I am not interested in a specific program, a career track, or even a degree.
I only hope to answer that one man.
I have included these essays along with my transcripts and other application materials.
Thank you for your time and consideration, and I hope to speak with you soon about my joining the student body.