Surrender to Find Beauty In The Ashes
About thirty years ago, I woke up as a broken and disillusioned divorce statistic.
Those days, mostly a blur in my memory, were a dangerous downward spiral.
Unknown to me, I had a praying sister asking God to change my life.
She convinced me to join a divorce recovery workshop she attended.
Something clicked, I came to Jesus, and my life changed radically!
Soon after that, one night at a bar, I heard God whisper,
“You don’t need that anymore.”
I put down my beer and haven’t drank since then.
Life was good now, but
A desire to remarry became an obsession, and I knew something had to change.
I cried out, “Father you’re enough! Take everything I am for your kingdom.”
We can unintentionally hold back parts of our lives from Jesus.
These things can become roadblocks to our faith growing.
When I surrendered everything to Jesus, I was at peace with my life.
A few months later, I was on a mission trip to the Manaus region of Brazils Amazon.
Our team’s destination, Maués was about 22 hours down the river from Manaus.
When we arrived, several local church members met us; I couldn’t help but notice the shortish skirt and shapely, tanned legs of one young lady receiving us.
Into The Jungle
The following day, we left for Lago de Jacaré, Alligator Lake. Our team had 14 people. Since
Our boat only carried eight people safely, so we made two trips to Alligator Lake.
My group arrived first with two of the missionaries and our guide, Rosaria.
We tossed our gear out, and one missionary, James, returned to Maués for the others.
Pablo, our team leader, went to find a few local pastors.
Rosária spoke some English and stayed to tell us what we could touch, eat, or drink.
The others had arrived, and we got ready to do the night’s service.
The ladies dressed in a shack the pastors family lived in. When Rosária came out, I couldn’t help but notice Rosária’s long, slightly clingy dress.
With a translators help, I preached that night, sharing how Jesus had remade my life.
Never suspecting the message would change my life forever.
Years later, I learned that Rosária had prayed God would give me a wife and children after hearing my story.
Awakened By A Whisper From God
After a breakfast, we headed back to Maués. I was in the second group this time.
I waited with James beside the lake. Dave and Bob were off swimming, and Rosária was out in a canoe freshening up.
Out of the blue, James says, “You know, Rosária would make a good wife for one of you guys.”
And I saw her again for the first time. We’d only met two days ago, could she be the one?
Rising From The Ashes
Back in the States, I told my pastor I had to go back to Manaus as a missionary to the homeless. I also told him I’d met my wife, he smiled and said, “It’ll go away.”
Using a Portuguese dictionary, I wrote a few letters to Rosária.
I got some back as well.
My pastor’s prediction seemed to come true when I began seeing a co-worker and thoughts of Rosária lessend.
Shortly before leaving, I asked the girl I was seeing if we were more than friends. When she answered no, I was off to Brazil with no reason to return to America.
In Manaus, the plan was for me to stay with friends. Pablo & Colleen. They met me at the gate, along with Rosária. We all hugged and headed back to their house.
It was late when we arrived, and Rosária said goodnight and headed to a friend’s house for the night. Once she’d left, Colleen mentioned Rosária was telling people she and I were a couple, something about letters I sent her.
Avoiding Dating And Denying My Heart
The next day, I met Roberto, the pastor of the PAZ church I’d be working with in Manaus. We talked about beginning the homeless ministry in the church. My no dating agreement came up, and everyone supported it.
I began recruiting and training a team.
Rosária helped but soon had to return to work in Maués.
When the ministry had its first outreach; we went to an inner-city location and gave out soup to people in the area and shared Jesus, and tried to get to know people.
Resources limited the outreach to once a week. I joined James, the matchmaker missionary, on trips to Jungle in my downtime.
Rosária joined us when she could which only invreased my attraction to her.
A Defining Word And A New Path
About four months into my stay, during worship one night, I felt God speaking to me.
What I heard was,
“Brian Rosária is your wife, you are to marry her.”
It was a lot to process, but not an unwelcome idea!
At home, I shared my experience with Pablo & and Colleen. We spent most of the night discussing my experience.
Their counsel was to return to the states without Rosária.
I met with Pastor Roberto in the morning. He asked a few questions about our age difference, where we would marry and live.
Then he confessed that he’d been praying this would happen.
Roberto called the Missions leaders confident they would bless the relationship.
He spoke to the director for a few minutes, hung up the phone, and told me they said no! They didn’t know me and couldn’t agree to it.
Roberto encouraged me by adding they might consider it after talking to my pastor in the states.
My visa expired in only seven weeks; it didn’t look promising.
I prayed and waited for my U.S. pastor to talk to the mission leaders. About three weeks later, Colleen received a life changing three word text, “Okay for Brian.”
I left for Maués the same day with a note from Colleen telling me how to propose in Portuguese.
Rosária met me at the boat, wanting to know why I needed to talk with her father right away. She was more than a little curious.
I had no translator when I spoke with her father, mother, five brothers, a sister, and an aunt. None of them spoke a word of English!
As I tried to ask to marry her, I was looking at eight confused faces.
In desperation, I handed the note to Rosaria’s father. He said yes, and I finally exhaled.
I found Rosária pacing back and forth. She saw me, She shouted, “What is going on?”
Dropping to one knee, I took her hand and said,
“God told me you are my wife. I love you and want to spend my life with you. Will you marry me?”
After a long pause, she said, "Yes”!
The Whirlwind And The Romance
In three and a half weeks, we had to get Rosária’s green card in Rio de Janeiro, her passport in Manaus, and plan a wedding in Maués. Before my visa expired.
We had an engagement party that night and left for Manaus the next day.
We got to work on Rosária’s visa, applied for her passport, and got necessary medical exams and shots for the visa process. Rosaria also bought materials for her wedding dress. It was a crazy time, but it made wonderful memories.
My sister gifted us a gorgeous diamond and ruby wedding set.
The way Rosária lit up when I slipped the engagement ring on her finger made all the rushing vanish.
We returned to Maués seven days before the wedding date and applied for our marriage license. Surprisingly, the judge refused the application for minor errors.
There could be no wedding until it was all fixed.
Whatsmore, I had to leave Brazil in 10 days. We got on our knees and prayed.
The next day, we saw the judge again. In answer to prayer, colleagues had told her it was okay to sign off on the papers.
However, the courthouse had no dates open for marriages before my
visa would expire; they would call us if any dates opened up. Believing God for the best, we left the courthouse and went on with our plans.
Four days later, we were called to the courthouse for a group wedding.
Our church wedding was the next night.
The day passed slowly.
When Rosária entered the Church, she was breathtaking. The ceremony was a perfect, fairy-tale event.
The next morning, Rosária, said goodbye to family and friends, and we boarded a plane to Manaus and finally to Rio de Janeiro.
Romance In Rio
We arrived in Rio at about 2:00 am. After breakfast, we were off to the U.S. Embassy for Rosária’s immigration interview.
After her interview, the clerk said, “I’ll see you in a couple of months with all her papers.”
I stuttered. “We had an appointment and all the documents.” After reviewing the documents, the clerk said she couldn’t accept a copied birth certificate and were short on money.
I replied, “That’s what the U.S. Consul told us we needed.”
The clerk said all fees increased this year.
I blurted out, “But our plane leaves tomorrow night.”
The clerk said, “Sorry Even if you had the original certificate and the money today, I couldn’t process your visa today because our system is down, and we need parts from the U.S.”
Rosária said, “Okay, We’ll make a few calls then go to the beach. Rio has great beaches.”
Amazed, I said, “I’m losing it, and you want to go to the beach. How can you be so calm?”
She shot back,
“God’s got it covered. If you don’t believe that, you can’t be my husband. I expect my husband to trust God.”
We made the calls and headed for the beach. She was right; the beaches are beautiful in Rio.
But with only enough cash to cover our hotel and meals for a few more days, I was still stressing.
The birth certificate had to come from a small city on the other side of Brazil, and there was no overnight service available then.
It was clear we couldn’t make our plane and talked with a travel agent friend to rebook our passage.
We kept in touch with the embassy and
I finally relaxed.
An unplanned honeymoon in Rio de Janeiro is a blessing if you just relax to see it.
My visa did expire, making nearly impossible to pick up the money wired to us. After hearing my story the teller had mercy on us and quietly passed us the cash. Before we left Rio
We had to re-book our plane tickets two more times.
Three days later, the embassy called saying to get to the embassy right away. Rosaria’s birth certificate had arrived, and miraculously, their computer system was up and running, without repairs! Just bring the money, and we’d get the visa.
By the time we arrived, the system had crashed again, but not before printing her documents.
Only two visas were issued in Rio De Janeiro that week, one to my bride, the other to another Christian.
God is in control even when we don’t see it.
At the airport, the federal police detained me due to my expired visa.
They left me alone in the detention room. In about fifteen minutes, they returned, gave me my passport, and told me to get on the plane.
Rosária was waiting outside, and we headed down the boarding ramp to the plane before they changed their minds.
An uneventful flight landed us at Newark international airport. We made our way to Manhattan’s Grand Central station to catch our train to my home near Cleveland, Ohio.
After checking in, we explored Manhattan and had lunch out before returning to the train station and waiting to board our train.
We met a sweet grandmotherly woman traveling alone. When she learned we were newlyweds, and it was Rosária’s first time in America. She offered to show us around Manhattan.
We accepted her invi
A few minutes later, we were in a cab for a driving tour of Manhattan’s sites. It was a huge blessing.
Returning to the station, we said goodbye to our personal angel and boarded th train.
We settled into our private sleeping room and headed to the dining car for a romantic dinner. We slept peacefully on the train and arrived in Cleveland at about 6 am. For the beginning of our married life in America.
We often don’t realize what grand blessings God has in store for us.
C.S. Louis said. “ We are too easily pleased. We are happy making mud pies in the yard when the Fathet has a holiday at the sea for us.”
If I didn’t stop making mud pies, I might never have met my wife, had four great kids, or lived the adventures I’ve shared.
Psalm 37:4 says,
Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Add to this Matthew 6:33,
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Complete surrender to Jesus opens the door many blessings. In exchange for all your hurts and sorrows, He can and will give you beauty from ashes.
Though filled with challenges, Jesus has given us many victories and carried
over an incredible roller coaster ride spanning 25 plus years. Two continents, two cultures, four amazing kids, and it’s still going strong.
So, what’s the takeaway?
Surrender everything to gain more than you ever imagined.
Peter walked on the water as long as he kept his eyes on Jesus. (Matt. 14:30-33)
Whatever the storm may be, fix your eyes on Jesus, and you may find He is opening the door to the best chapters of your life.
