The Pain Of Being Shunned
Leaving My Religion & Losing My Family
“I can’t explain how I feel, but I can find a song that can” (unknown origin)
Have you ever broken free from a bad situation in your life?
But then felt absolutely lost.
In despair.
Grieving for the past whilst at the same time trying to build a new future.
Then found a song that just encapsulates how you are feeling and motivates you in your journey moving forward?
And listen to it, over and over again. As you move forward.
I did.
Kaylens Rain are an Australian brother and sister country pop duo who wrote a song about their feelings after leaving the Jehovah’s Witnesses (JW) religion.
According to their Dad this song is an expression of the feelings of escape and being free of the guilt and restrictive mindset of being a JW.
It means so much when people publicly speak and write about leaving a religion the ramifications of which mean most are forever cut off from their family and friends.
There is no ‘leaving’ as you simply do not believe it anymore. That rarely occurs.
The policy of the organization is that if you no longer believe that the witnesses are the true religion, then you are to be disfellowshipped. You are no longer considered a witness.
You are deemed to be morally inadequate and deficit due to your decision to leave.
This means that all those left in the faith are counselled to shun you. They are taught that if they keep in contact with you, or speak to you at all, they could be disfellowshipped themselves.
It is the religion’s way of stopping others being ‘influenced’ by the person who has left and who may then decide to leave themselves.
They teach that all who leave are like ‘rotten apples’ who will rot those they rub up against.
Just like rotting apples in a bag need to be separated from the ‘good’ apples, so the ‘good’ people have to be protected from non-believers deemed to be ‘rotten’ now they no longer believe it is the true religion.
What they do not realize, however, is we are all people and NOT apples.
I have friends of all different faiths including ones who are non-believers and NONE of us influence the other in changing what we think or believe unless we WANT to change.
It just does not work like that.
We all remain individuals and most of the time we don’t even discuss religion. So let us name the practice of ‘shunning’ for what it is.
CONTROL and FEAR.
According to a 2017 Huff Post article it is estimated up to 70,000 Jehovah’s Witnesses are disfellowshipped every year.
Think of all the families ripped apart.
Not even allowed to say “hello” to each other when passing in the street. Treated as if dead by the ones remaining in the faith, under the fear that they will perish at Armageddon if they disobey the policy.
When people lose their entire support system, including their friends and family suicide becomes a much greater risk than just an isolated case.
People should be able to practice the faith of their choosing, or not, without the threat of being excluded from their families and communities.
Banishment used to be a death sentence in the age when people were tribal and dependant on each other for survival within communities.
Banishment can still be a death sentence if the person is treated as dead despite still being alive.
It is cruel and dehumanizing and not an ‘act of love’ as taught by Jehovah’s Witnesses but an act of fear, exclusion and ultimate control.
We will only talk to you if you return to the faith. We will only acknowledge you if you come back to our way of believing. You are dead to us otherwise. You are rotten and are deemed rotten by both God and man.
Thank you Kaylens Rain for this beautiful song.
The sentiments are beautiful, powerful and energizing. The song focuses on the positive aspects of living life free from bondage to beliefs that isolate you from your community and prevent you from participating fully in life. The positives of a life free from The Watchtower Society.
As well as for any escaping from a bad situation in their life.
Just what people need when they are trying to build new relationships with new people and new communities.
Learning to trust again.
Finding hope.
