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How Do You Make a Sexual Bucket List When You’re Married with Children,

and stay classy at the same time?

Photo by Marvin Meyer on Unsplash

December 2019

The short answer is, you don’t. You just go for it. Because you’re your own woman, and they are just thoughts.

So, here they are. (And I’ll do my best not to be sorry about it.)

  1. A Threesome — not just your ordinary F/M/F threesome, though. (yawn) An exotic threesome in Hawaii with one of those hot as fuck Hula girls with skin as tan and sweet as caramel.
  2. A Foreign Threesome — where no one speaks a lick of English (pun very much intended), and we only communicate with our bodies (because we have to.)
  3. Filthy Sex With a Woman and if you’re wondering (on a scale from 1 to 10) if there’s any Kink at play, it’s a hell and a yes.
  4. Go To a Sex Festival — and have a look around…
  5. A Reverse Gang Bang — Oh. My. Gawd. Three, four, five women and me devouring a man (and each other) alive? Yes, please.
  6. Feel 100% Confident Being My Sexual Self Again and seduce without a care (or anxious/negative thought) in the world.
  7. Eat Nyotaimori — come on, who doesn’t like naked sushi? Okay, I realize this is low on the exhibitionist scale compared to a reverse gang bang, but it’s at least one thing I’m pretty confident I’ll check off the list in the not-so-distant future.
  8. Have Two “Dates” In One Day — and get the most bang for my buck. One date would be in the afternoon, where we’d meet up for a cup of the best coffee in town. Then later that day, steak and shrimp for dinner with another lover and something much syrupy for dessert.
  9. Go Back to the Restaurant Where I used to Work and Have Sex on the Bar —I started working in the restaurant business at seventeen and had a pretty good thing goin’ there through my mid-twenties. Those years were some of the best times of my life as far as fun and friends go. My untamed co-workers would tell me crazy stories about how they would fuck our boss (and each other) on the bar after the restaurant closed up for the night.
  10. Spend One Whole Weekend at a Strip Club…As an Employee I’m going to say it; I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be a stripper. I’m aware that this completely goes against the feminist/girl power vibe I put out there, but I would feel in charge in a weird way. I’d dance my ass off Friday through Sunday, makes wads of cash, and be home in time to take my kids to school come Monday morning.

Reality Check

I feel a bit like I’m leading two lives here. In Life One, I’m a married monogamous mom, who went to catholic school her whole life, only had one sexual partner, and has no trouble following the rules. In Life Two, I’m the married monogamous mom who thinks about what it would be like to check all those dirty things off her bucket list. Again, they are just thoughts. What’s the harm in that? I let them ebb and flow while being bold enough to show you what a whole and passionate human I am. I believe Yael Wolfe said it best when she said,

“I did it for myself. I did it because there are some things I want to experience, simple as they might be, and I wanted to be bold enough to put that out into the world.”

Full disclosure — this was the fastest article I’ve ever written, hands down. Thank you, Yael Wolfe, Meghan Ward, and Gwenna Laithland, for the mammoth-sized inspiration to keep striving to be the best mom and wife I can be and my sexual (monogamous) self simultaneously.

From the bottom of my heart, Thank You for the reawakening.

To anyone who’s reading, are you brave enough to tell us what’s in your bucket?

Thank you for your love and lattes. You Are Loved. ❤

©2019 Divina Grey

Addendum: I wrote this while I was still married. And after my ex-husband told me he was Polyamorous (all of a sudden), wanted an open marriage, and that there was a specific co-worker he was looking to date (and already was unbeknownst to me.) After those heartbreaking (and strangely provocative) conversations with him, I didn’t see the harm in indulging in my fantasies and letting my literary freak flag fly. Probably for the first time in my life. Besides, they were only words on a page. But here’s the catch; I remained highly aware of the difference between a fantasy world and my reality. I could always tell the difference. And if I ever found myself caught up in the bedroom of possibilities, my two children pulled my feet back onto solid ground. A very long story short, this piece was up for a few days, got a ton of raving reviews, and my ex blamed his despicable behavior in the years prior on me and shamed me for writing this article so much that I deleted it before you could say, ménage a trois.

But, now we’re divorced — and I’m free.




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Divina Grey

Divina Grey

Mom | Writer | Musician | Sporty Spice | Gypsy | Coffee Connoisseur | Connect with me: