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My Boyfriend Hopes My Husband Still Loves Me

A Story of Separation

Victoria Ponte
Feb 10 · 3 min read

My husband who moved out five years ago brought me 2 dozen red roses last Friday for Valentine’s Day. He was taking our sons on vacation on Sunday and will return on Valentine’s Day which is why he came a week ahead of time.

He put the flowers in water and left them on my kitchen counter. I asked him how I was supposed to explain them to my boyfriend who was due to come over later that night. With a week of having the house to myself, there’s no telling who else may visit through the week and might find it curious there are red roses in my kitchen in advance of Valentine’s Day.

Most everyone who knows me is aware my husband and I have been separated for 5 years. They also know Valentine’s Day is not just another Hallmark holiday for us.

This year marks the 21st anniversary of the day my husband found me pregnant and paralyzed in the breaking hours of dawn on that freezing morning in February, 1999. He thought his biggest problem when he woke up that day was going to be where to get me flowers.

Instead, he was faced with sending our 2 year old son to the neighbors as I was taken to the hospital in an ambulance.

I was 6 months pregnant and had a severe stroke. An emergency craniotomy saved my life as well as the baby’s.

Thus began the tradition of making the celebration of Valentine’s day about more than cards, candy and flowers. It became a celebration of being lucky to be alive and having friends and family who love me.

This is why my estranged husband still buys me flowers on Valentine’s Day. He doesn’t want to be my husband, but after knowing each other for 40 years, being married for 28, and having 2 children, we will be like family forever.

Living separately as a “modern family” with each of us being involved with a girlfriend and boyfriend, respectively, often makes for some amusing true facts such as the one that generated the title for this story.

If I am headed to the lake house where my estranged husband lives for my weekend there with my boyfriend, my husband might tell my boyfriend and I to have fun. He stays in the marital home one or two weekends a month to visit our sons which allows me to enjoy the lake house. My boyfriend finds it amusing to have my husband telling him to have a good time with his wife in the vacation place we shared as husband and wife for so many years.

My boyfriend noticed the roses when he arrived that Friday. He said he was glad my husband got them for me as he likely would not.

When we first met, there was still a remote possibility my husband and I might reconcile. He often said he thought it would be a beautiful thing if we found our way back to each other.

In 2 1/2 years, the chances of that happening have gone from slim to none. I don’t think my boyfriend thinks reconciliation would be such a beautiful thing anymore.

We were looking at the roses on Sunday when I started to tease him about why my husband got them for me. “He still loves me. He’s not over me.”

He said, “I hope he still loves you. If he doesn’t, then he just doesn’t get it.”

“Doesn’t that sound weird for your boyfriend to tell you he hopes your husband still loves you?”

It certainly does sound weird, but the fact of the matter is after a 40 year relationship, we will probably be stuck loving each other for the rest of our lives.

There will be no way to not think of each other on Valentine’s Day after living through that traumatic experience on that day in 1999.

Recycling this story in advance of Valentine’s Day, 2021. It remains to be seen if my husband will buy me roses this year…

Victoria Ponte

Written by

Young stroke survivor, mother, champion equestrian, tambourine player, storyteller, https://www.victoriaponte.com amazon.com/author/victoriaponte

Recycled

Recycled

Recycled is focused on sharing old stories made anew.

Victoria Ponte

Written by

Young stroke survivor, mother, champion equestrian, tambourine player, storyteller, https://www.victoriaponte.com amazon.com/author/victoriaponte

Recycled

Recycled

Recycled is focused on sharing old stories made anew.

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