I have always felt in relationships there is a connection, like a thread, which holds two souls together. Each person picks up their end of the thread when the relationship begins and holds it as the friendship or love affair is woven together piece by piece with a bit of thread, the connection.
Some tapestries of relationships go on for decades. Long histories can be read in the scenes and patterns of the weave. Both parties holding onto their threads and contributing to the joint venture which is their friendship.
It always surprises me when someone will just put down their thread. It shouldn’t, God knows, it’s happened to me plenty of times. But I am always surprised. No one can ever explain it to me. It just happens.
There seems no respect for the thing that was built over time, years, sometimes decades. On at least one side of the equation, it is simply left in benign neglect.
All that remains is for the other person in this pairing to open their hand and let go of their thread and it will all be done. The tapestry will unravel and it will be as though it never existed.
The letting go — knowing what will happen — is incredibly difficult, let me tell you. Understanding you are the only one holding onto the thread and the relationship and all that was — keeping the history and the tapestry in place is a heavy burden.
Tara Silver has a book called Outrageous Openness. She applies the theme of letting go of what needs to go so that what needs to come will have room to come. It makes as much sense as any why this would happen.
Some things just need to go. So I open my hand and I let go. Watching the tapestry which had been constructed with such care over so much time simply vanish.
I watch each row unravel. With compassion for myself, and the other. And for the gift which had been the tapestry.
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