This Is Not My Beautiful House
A Story About Being Haunted by Song Lyrics
And I asked myself, “How did I get here?”
I was hoping my boyfriend would arrive before my estranged husband so we could leave before he ever arrived. I busied myself with preparations for the weekend, wandering around the house in an anxious daze.
My husband of 28 years moved out 5 years ago. He lives in what was our vacation home. We still share two homes. When he comes to my house to stay with our sons for a weekend, my boyfriend and I go to the lake.
This means my estranged husband is often at my place before my boyfriend arrives. Everyone is on good terms, but there is an indescribable level of awkwardness and discomfort for me when I have to be in the same room with my husband and my boyfriend.
I’m sure both men feel their own level of weird in the situation, too. When my boyfriend hasn’t seen me in a week, he is anxious to give me a hug and kiss. He is cognizant of the fact this makes me uncomfortable in my husband’s presence so he keeps it light.
My husband is an extrovert and likes to make conversation. I just want to get the hell out of the house. I have no choice but to tolerate their chit chat until we can leave.
