How 35# DB Side Bends Changed My Life
It was January 2014. I was 31 years old. My stats were 6’ and a puffy 235 pounds. Fully clothed, I didn’t feel too bad. I wore my extra poundage pretty well, I guess. No one ever told me I looked fat anyway. Like a delicious Bismark donut, you don’t know the fluff is in there until you get through the outer layers of pastry goodness. Honestly, I didn’t even care. I was enjoying myself. I liked to eat half of a pizza for dinner and then ice cream before bed on a random Tuesday evening. Two Snickers bars from the vending machine at work was a satisfying and tasty snack; unless I was in the mood for Twix. I think that habit started one day when the machine malfunctioned and gave me a two for one deal. Wow! It was like triple 7’s on a nickel slot machine. The only time I really noticed or was a little bothered by my pudge was when I would sit without a shirt on. The tire would become accentuated.
That January, events culminated. Signs were present that I needed a different approach to my body and health. My wife, Megan, would frequently ask me to be accountable with her regarding our eating habits. She wanted to eat better and be healthier, but she understood human nature all too well. Eating clean is easier said than done and easier done with real accountability. Her need and my desire to meet it was the first prod in my side. We also go a Nintendo Wii with WiiFit. I know, we were about 8 years late to the Wii party. We aren’t really a gaming family; the kids were just getting bored being inside so much during the winter. Anyway, the WiiFit generated my avatar based on my stats. I am just going to be blatantly honest. I was a fat ass. I tried to make it look cool by putting a beard, some sunglasses, and a beanie on it, but it didn’t matter; at the root of it, I was fat. My kids were making fun of my avatar because he was hilarious. But while fun was being had, at the core it was at my expense. I don’t blame the kids; I was laughing too. It was no one’s fault but my own. The avatar was just a reflection of me. The third and final catalyst was a Biggest Loser competition at my school. Every year, a group of teachers would band together and try to get themselves to look better for Spring Break. It is a vicious cycle for some people. I had absolutely no intention of participating. I had done it a couple of years earlier, and I ended up breaking even with my weight, but a little poorer because it costs a dollar every week you gain. I just didn’t care enough. I didn’t have an impactful “why.” I was asked to be on a team with one of my buddies again. Had there not been Megan and the obese avatar, I would have said no. I had actually recently said out loud in a conversation, “I am in my thirties, I don’t have the discipline or care to look 20 again. I am just going to eat crappy food and be overweight for the rest of my life.” I said it in jest, but I kind of meant it. However, that wasn’t to be. The right circumstances led me to say yes to the weight loss competition. Because I am a red blooded American male with an athletic background and with some real motivation, if something is called a competition, I want to win.
Step one was logging all my food. I knew I had to see what I was putting in, as scary as that was. Seeing all the garbage and useless calories I was ingesting was a real eye opener. I was no nutritionist, but I was confident that 4000+ calories is not ideal for a guy my size with a fairly inactive lifestyle. I got strict, crazy strict with my diet. It wasn’t sustainable long term, but I felt that I needed to rip my body out of its addicted state. It was like diving into an ice bath for that first week or so. I was really missing my Grandma’s vanilla cream cookies, not my actual grandma’s cookies but the packaged kind you can find at any convenience store. I actually began losing a little weight before our initial weigh in for the competition. This actually hurt me from a competitive standpoint, but like I said, I had other motivators. During the competition, some people were losing weight, some were just staying at their current weight, and some people were actually gaining weight. Can you believe that? You sign up for a weight loss competition, and you care so little that you do less for your health. Oh wait, that was basically me a couple of years earlier. Readiness and knowing why you are doing it are paramount. You can’t expect to get any significant results from anything in life, if you aren’t doing it with genuine purpose. As the weeks went on, I got more comfortable with my eating plan. Habits formed, the routine helped, and while they did not vanish, the cravings lessened. Having done some weight training and various fitness activities over the years, I knew that exercise needed to compliment my weight loss plan. I began utilizing the gym at my school. At first I would do something like walk/jog on the treadmill for a few minutes and ride the stationary bike for a few miles and then call it a day. My heart wasn’t really into it, but it felt like something I should be doing. I was losing weight with the nutrition adjustments, so often the “workout” was used to justify a cheat meal. Now is a good time to mention that while I’m on my leisurely stationary ride, two other guys are on the other side of the gym screaming in pain and slamming barbells. A couple of different times, they asked me to join, saying something like, “You should jump in today. It’s a pretty easy day. You’d kick our butts.” It was just peer pressure by flattery. They looked like they were torturing themselves. I knew that even though I was losing weight, I was still out of shape. I didn’t want to make a fool of myself, so I just stuck with my routine. I did want to target my mid-section, so one day after my jog, I grabbed a 35 pound dumbbell and started doing some side bends. Yep, that’s what was really missing…a consistent regime of freaking side bends. So there I was one day, cruising through my side bends, feeling like I might potentially, just maybe break a little sweat. All the while I am watching these dudes do this barbell front squat to an overhead press thing, which I later learned was called a thruster. Again with the grunting and slamming! I felt like such a tool, a real wimp. These guys were training hard like men, and I was going through some motions like a recovering fat guy upholding a weak New Year’s resolution. Shame washed over me, and I decided that the next time they asked, I would join the suffer-fest. My very next workout was 3 rounds for time of 65# power cleans (Rx 95 #), 21 reps, 27 Burpees, and 27 GHD sit-ups. I was willing away the puke during round two of Burpees. In the middle of round 3, I wanted to quit, but one of the guys could see the fight draining from me and said, “Just keep going. If you quit, you will regret it tomorrow.” I didn’t quit. I clenched my teeth to guard against the impending vomit, and I finished in 31 minutes. I felt like I had been beaten up by Andre the Giant and then put on the Tilt-a-Whirl for a very unfair amount of time. I just sat next to the trash can with my head between my knees and waited for the fog to clear. It took me about a half hour to muster the strength to drunk man stumble to my truck for the drive home. About two hours after the workout, I was sitting at the kitchen table, and a great feeling of invigoration hit me. Sure, I was still super tired and would feel really sore the next day, but I knew I had accomplished something great for myself. There was no going back. I was officially set on a course directed at becoming the best me. I had been selling myself short. I was capable of more. The spark was struck, and the fire was lit. What’s next? Bring it on! Along this new path, I found OCR and Spartan Race, the thrill of pushing it to the max, the exhilaration of training outside, even in the winter. I began to desire more knowledge about training and nutrition. I found a new mission to learn everything I can that will make me stronger, both physically and simply as a human. I began finding new passions. I was convicted about the example I set for my kids about being passionate, fit, and fulfilled. My kids do Burpees and tire flips and pull-ups and overhead squats. They are by no means athletically exceptional, but they appreciate a healthy lifestyle. By the way, I lost 40 pounds in 4 months that winter. But that didn’t even really matter that much. The internal change is so much more valuable and precious. As long as I have breath, I will continue to learn and pursue a more optimal human existence. Let me put in a caveat that there is really only one source of true, eternal joy and purpose for mankind, and we can’t be perfected until we meet Him. However, that doesn’t mean that we can’t live a life of passion that rocks hard. In this journey, I’m learning about fitness, mental health, business, relationships, and on and on. Somewhere along the way, I lost my desire for improvement, but I’ve found it. This extends well beyond the walls of the gym. I’m asking hard questions for myself, and my family. To be honest I am a little confused right now about my path, what’s best for my family, and how this one life should be spent. I think that’s natural though. That is what my wife and I have to figure out together. That’s a great thing too. I have someone awesome to share this ride with. We share the burdens as well as the joy. For me, my focus is about enjoying the journey, wherever it is taking me at the current moment.
As you gain knowledge, you become more analytical and question more. Since my eyes are opening, I have much more to consider. As I press on, I have faith that the path will be laid a step ahead of me. I don’t know where it’s all going to end up, but I am stoked with the movement. My desire is that I become a better husband, father, son, friend, and man. I am diving in, ready for life’s voyage. So I say, thank you dearest side bends. Let’s go!
