Patsy’s First Birthday
Hello everybody! just want to share with you all. Today is a special day for me.
First of all, today marks one year with no tobacco. Yep! didn’t think that could ever happen.
Today is also special because one year ago I took my first shot of estrogen. I call that my birthday as Patsy.
I know a lot of people don’t understand this Transgender thing. Heck, I don’t understand it myself sometimes. All I know is, deep down inside and closer to the surface too I feel better about who I am and the life I am living than the last 57 years of my life. Go figure right. It’s not about being girly or anything sexual. It’s about being true and honest with myself and God. I wish I could come up with a good reason that everyone could understand. I am just me now. No more masks or acting the way I don’t really feel. There is really no pleasure in all this. Inner peace and joy, yes, pleasure, not so much. I hope others can feel freedom how I feel it now. Freedom from fighting anymore. I’m even learning to not fight the rest of the world.
For my religious friends and fellow Christians, believe me when I say that God totally loves me. All of me. how do I know this? Because I prayed and begged him for years to make me free from what I thought was so wrong. To change me to make me manly and a everything a man should be. I was never a whole person. Well, God did make me free through acceptance of who I am. My life has been more spiritual than ever. God is with me through every step of my journey. Yes I know some of the strict fundamentalists will insist that God hates who I am. I think it is just you who hates who I am and maybe because you really don’t know what its like to have lived my life. Whether I ever look the way I wish I could or always look the same, I am changed. I love who I am because I am becoming a better person.
Thank you so much to all my friends, old and new. You are all such a big part of me. Thank you for trying to understand even if you can’t. That’s called acceptance. I hope to spread the love that’s been given to me. I am so grateful today.
Love you all,