“Polite Society” preys on tired stereotypes

A new film with British Pakistani protagonists tries to be the feminist version of “Get Out” meets “Kill Bill” — without nuanced storytelling to make it work.

Vignesh Ramachandran
Red, White and Brown
4 min readApr 28, 2023

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Priya Kansara stars as Ria Khan in “Polite Society.” (Photo courtesy of Parisa Taghizadeh / © 2023 Focus Features)

This post originally appeared on Red, White and Brown’s newsletter on Substack (Issue #59 sent on April 27, 2023).

By Vignesh Ramachandran

I wanted to like it so bad. I really did.

The high anticipation for Focus Features’ new movie “Polite Society” has been enthusiastic in some parts of the South Asian diaspora. The marketing has been quite epic too — I’ve been seeing ads across social media. So I was excited to watch the movie early a few days ago.

“Polite Society,” which opens in theaters on Friday, is about two British Pakistani sisters. The younger sister, Ria (played by Priya Kansara), is a young stuntwoman-in-the-making. Older sister Lena (played by Ritu Arya) is a recent art school dropout who soon gets engaged to a man in their community. The movie chronicles Ria’s adventure in trying to break up Lena’s upcoming marriage.

But what is likely intended to be a powerful feminist take on traditional ideas in South Asian cultures, instead preys on stereotypes itself:

  • South Asian women seem to be bucketed into two groups: Either Brown ditzes with no self-worth who blindly fawn over Brown men OR Brown women who wear ‘f*** the patriarchy’ on their chest with juvenile naivete. Just black and white. There are no nuanced female characters who are independent women with healthy skepticism about the world.
  • South Asian men are, once again, painted with the tired and boring brush of “mama’s boy” — and thus, villain.
  • A mother-in-law is depicted as a poisonous person with ulterior motives and a Cruella De Vil-like persona, as if every mother who happens to have a married child turns into a truly evil version of Marie-Barone-of-“Everybody Loves Raymond”-on-steroids.
  • The movie’s plot casts a false dichotomy between one personal and professional lives. Yes, life has tradeoffs and we can’t do it all. But the plot fear mongers that being in relationships equates to killing one’s professional identity. Or one must surrender relationships to pursue one’s professional passion. Black and white. Unless your partner has 1950s mentalities (which, yes, some still do), the vast majority of millennial and Gen Z relationships don’t have this ancient dynamic.
Nimra Bucha stars as the mother-in-law character Raheela and Priya Kansara as Ria Khan in “Polite Society.” (Photo courtesy of Parisa Taghizadeh / © 2023 Focus Features)

Of course this movie is fiction. And while I am thrilled to see a British Pakistani film make waves across social media and get the royal marketing treatment from a major studio, the movie fell short in being anything revolutionary. It’s trying to be a South Asian feminist version of Jordan Peele’s “Get Out” meets the action sequences of Quentin Tarantino’s “Kill Bill” — without solid storytelling to make it work. “Get Out” (2017) truly was revolutionary in sparking interesting, nuanced discussions on race in a post-Obama, early-Trump America.

Somehow, I’m predicting “Polite Society” with get more positive reviews than me — it already had a 95% positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes, as of Wednesday. So I may be an outlier here (along with the San Francisco Chronicle which called it a “tiresome, dreadful comedy”), and many of you may enjoy it.

I am curious to see more work from British writer-director Nida Manzoor, who is behind the highly acclaimed show “We Are Lady Parts.” “Polite Society” did have solid editing, nice cinematography and excellent casting, considering the good acting from both Kansara and Arya. So this film is bound to launch their careers to even greater heights.

Amid the attention on this movie, that’s certainly a win.

Priya Kansara stars as Ria Khan and Ritu Arya as her sister Lena “Polite Society.” (Photo courtesy of Saima Khalid / © 2023 Focus Features)

“Polite Society” opens in theaters Friday.

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Vignesh Ramachandran
Red, White and Brown

Freelance journalist covering race, culture and politics from a South Asian American lens.