Leadership Animal #7: The Gorilla
Feedback is the most important development tool
Certain behaviour patterns involve certain body postures and often require another animal to do something. Postures signalling mood or intention to the partner are sometimes even used for communication over greater distances; this is particularly true for display behaviour. — berggorilla
It has been a while since I have been to the zoo. When I go, I always try and have a glimpse at gorillas — if the kids let me of course. They fall into the category of simply majestic animals.
We have all seen the famous chest-beating at some point. It is one of the more effective ways to let another gorilla know their behaviour is not accepted. They have even been observed to openly discipline their children.
In short, they give some clear and direct feedback.
Last time in this series — talking about dogs — we explored the importance of setting clear expectations. Feedback is the older brother to expectations. You need both to be effective and one does not work without the other.
It is also one of the topics with an almost infinite pool of available resources. And as leaders, we should spend time perfecting it.
Why? Lots of reasons, but the following is essential for me:
Feedback is the most important tool for a leader to help others grow.
Your job as a leader is to make sure everybody around you is improving all the time. Getting better at what they are doing.
The best way? Ongoing guidance through constructive criticism and positive feedback.
Giving & Receiving Feedback
Feedback goes both ways.
If you are bad at receiving feedback, you will soon lose trust and respect.
If you do not give effective feedback, you are throwing away people’s potential.
I will not spend much time on receiving feedback. The only recommendation is to read the book Thanks for the Feedback by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen.
One advice is worth calling out though: Every piece of feedback is a gift. Sounds cliché? Maybe. But there is a reason why someone is giving it. And your job is to find out why.
Now to the part a lot of us are afraid of. Giving Feedback. And guess what. Because we are anxious and scared about it, we miss opportunities.
But why are we scared?
- We give feedback to influence change. Someone behaves a certain way and want to see more or less of it.
- But, we do not want to come across as a massive tool. The feedback should not destroy the relationship we have with this someone.
- To have the best shot at (1) and (2), we aim for feedback perfection. Perfect delivery, high impact, and very little time investment.
And there we have it. Giving feedback is not easy in the first place. But we often back ourselves in a corner where we are super uncomfortable even just thinking about it.
It is possible to back out of this corner though. Not an easy task. But by following a few guidelines and a lot of practice, we can all become decent feedback givers. After all, giving feedback is a skill. And all skills can be learned.
The foundation of any effective feedback is to set clear expectations and mimic our favourite furry friends. This is especially important as a leader of a team or company. If you are not communicating what you expect from others, feedback often comes as a surprise. Which in turn might hurt your relationship.
Rule number two is to focus on the impact on yourself. Share how the behaviour in question affected you — how you felt in the situation. You will be surprised how much more effective this is than telling folks what they did wrong.
Lastly, the only way to get better at giving feedback is to practice. Lots. Find a test subject you can work with. Start by giving positive feedback. No matter how you manage it, repetition is key. Remember, giving feedback is a skill and practice makes perfect.
Recap
When gorillas beat their chest they let everybody around them know that something is not accepted. They give clear feedback. And so should we, especially in a leadership position.
Feedback is the most important tool for a leader to help others grow.
The Leadership Animals series associates good leadership practices with animals, to make these practices easier to remember and apply.
To see the full collection of animals, head to the introduction article.
