Childhood: Show No Emotion
Damian learned to suppress his feelings early in life.
“Emotion is something you definitely didn’t show around my dad growing up,” he said. “He wasn’t hearing anything you had to say about anything.”
Damian’s father was a violent alcoholic who was known to rip open couches with forks and knives, and once destroyed a fish tank.
“He would smash half the shit in the house and just pass out drunk,” Damian recounted. “We would clean it up every time — me and my mom.”
Damian was scared of his dad. But he never showed it.
For most of his life, he kept his emotions to himself. He used to believe his feelings were invalid. Staying quiet was the easiest of all options.
“I think a lot of times I wouldn’t say nothin’ because I used to be afraid of being judged (about) how I (felt),” Damian explained.
So, instead, he’d shut down.
“Like, literally just shut down — not say anything. It’s something I still do. I’ll just stare at a person. Like, if someone’s in my face, I will just stare at them and not say anything. It pisses people off.”
Much of it, Damian said, stems from his childhood.
His family was not affectionate “whatsoever,” so the lack of openness was normal to him.
“Nobody asked me how I felt about anything,” Damian said.
But today things are different
“Nowadays, I make a point to tell people I talk to on the phone, ‘I love you.’ I try not to leave those things unsaid.”
About the Author
Andréa Maria Cecil is a career editor and writer whose experience includes six years as Assistant Managing Editor and Head Writer at CrossFit Inc. headquarters. She spent the first 12 years of her professional life as a journalist — starting with The Associated Press in Detroit and Baltimore — before transitioning to content marketing with an emphasis on authentic storytelling. She is the editor of “Speal: A David and Goliath Story” by Chris Spealler that sold 10,000 copies worldwide.
