It’s a secret

I see myself.

Reed: I have a secret.

If you ever want my attention, just say these words. And if you ever want my cooperation just say those words and add the word ‘bacon.’

Me: Oh, I love secrets. What is it?

Reed: I can’t tell you. It’s a secret.

Me: Well, you can’t say you have a secret and not tell me. That just makes me even _more_ curious — Tell me, tell-me, tellme!

Reed: It’s a secret.

It bugs when people do this but it’s kinda cute when your kid does it. Besides, this secret will be short-lived since I have an ace up my sleeve…

Me: Well, you can’t keep secrets from your parents. Right?

Reed furrows his brow.

I’m sure whatever is going through Reed’s mind is akin to the intense conflict felt when applying The Three Laws of Robotics. Computing… Computing… Ding!

Reed: Okay.

I know, I know I pressured him but it’s really appalling how easily Reed will give up a secret. I mean: Tell me. No. Tell me. No. Tell me. Okay.

Geez.

Jenny and I really gotta look into some Navy Seal camp for Reed next summer…

Me: So, what’s the secret?

Reed (Hesitant): I am full of mean things but don’t’ say them out loud.

Me (Just as hesitant): Well, what kind of mean things are you thinking of?

Reed: I don’t know.

Me: Well, how do you know it’s mean?

Reed: I feel bad.

Me: Hmmm… do you think the other person would feel bad, too?

Reed: I don’t know.

Me: Can you tell me something you heard that is mean?

Reed: R (kid at school) said A’s picture was ugly.

Me: That _does_ sound mean.

Reed: I felt sad.

Me: But, what if the picture _was_ ugly?

Reed: It was only a little ugly.

Me: So, would you say anything to A? or not say anything at all?

Reed: I would say ‘It’s a little pretty.’

I give Reed a high five.

Me: I think A would really like that. And when you hear something mean and you don’t agree with it, please say something.

That last part will probably get Reed into some fights but I rather deal with that than not.

Of course, Reed just nods and continues on.

Reed: Another time, E (another kid at school) told J to ‘Go away!’

Me: Hmmm… What would you say?

Reed: I would say ‘Please leave.’

Me: Well, that does sound nicer but… J still has to leave. Saying mean things and doing mean things are not the same thing.

Reed: What would you do?

Whoa. I didn’t expect that. There’s only one thing to do.

Stall.

Me: Let me see…What would I do… What would I do… You mean with telling J to leave?

Reed: Yes.

Me: Well, it depends on a lot of things… Like if J was listening, what E was doing… But, you know what?

Reed: What?

Me: I think you already have a good way of figuring out what to say and when — You ask yourself how the other person would feel and if what you have to say helps them or not.

Reed: Yeah.

Me: But, if you have a lot of things you don’t think you can say because you think it’s mean… you can tell me.

Reed: I’ll always tell you, Ba.

High-five.