A fair trade

Free market forces at work.

Reed: I want to trade penises.

Me: Well, my friends may not notice but your friends will.

Reed: Why?

At this point, I’m regretting that I didn’t just make the imaginary trade… I start feeling how long a few seconds can be when you don’t have an answer for something. All I got are a bunch of Um’s.

Reed: Why, daddy? Why?

Me: Um. You could… be… um… tipping over because… it’s… um… there’s too much weight in front of you now.

*I know, I know… But, I did try to first give a scientific explanation which was obviously rooted more in fantasy but I needed an answer.*

Reed (Looks down): Why?

Me (Deep breath): Well, your penis is made just for you and mine is made just for me. Your penis fits you perfectly and my penis has been with me for sooooo long that I’ll miss it if we traded.

Reed: Yeah. I would miss my penis so, so, soooooo much.

Me: Maybe mom can help you shower tomorrow.