My First Experience As A Solo Acoustic Musician, Part 5
Finally ready after a lifetime of doubt
The time was drawing near. Fifty-two years after first picking up a guitar, and forty-five years after finally sticking with it, I was ready to head out to my first singing gig. The fear wasn’t all gone; enough had subsided over the past few days…and weeks, and months, and years.
I took off from home at about 11:15 and headed for Kenmore. It took an hour to get there, and with a 4:00 time slot, I didn’t have to rush. First stop was at the “office” (the Panera Bread in Kenmore) for a drink and sandwich, then down the street to park at the school, a short walk from Beth’s place.
The village was buzzing. You could hear music and see small crowds on each side street. The sun shone on Kenmore, providing perfect weather for such a community event.
I walked up and spotted Beth as the first band was playing. They were a guitarist and drummer, a bit older than us, doing 60' & 70’s covers with some originals. They’d played around town for years and had a small following.
The second act was a rapper/hip-hop performer. He had pre-recorded background music playing from files on a laptop. He reportedly has some interest from the Buffalo Bills organization for his Bills-themed raps. There was an hour break before I’d go on.
Across the street for the 3:00 slot was an acoustic musician, and he put me more at ease for a couple of reasons. First, his music was more akin to my genre, creating a transition from one side of the street to the other after the hip-hop music. The other thing that helped me was that he screwed up his first song and had to stop and restart, something many performers fear. He recovered, which put me more at ease, knowing that if I messed up, I wasn’t alone.
My buddy Steve (see Part 3), and his wife pulled up on their bikes about 15 minutes before my start time. Shortly after, I said hi to them and saw my daughter walking down the sidewalk. Despite my request they not come, she and my wife had already planned to, but I was more at ease than I thought I’d be.
One More Special Surprise
I also reached out to a Kathy, former classmate who lived in the area, and she also made a special effort to come out. She and Beth hadn’t seen each other in too long, even though they lived only a few miles from each other. It meant a lot to both of us. Keep in mind, we (Beth, Kathy, Steve, and I) were high school classmates 140 miles away, not just the next town over.
I went on at 4:00. Oh, the things that go through your head as you begin singing.
Am I loud enough?
Too loud?
Guitar not loud enough?
Did they hear that garbled word?
Anybody else notice I missed a chord?
Holy shit, I’m really singing!
I hope I get through this verse without fucking it up.
Phew, got through that.
This is going alri….. whoops.
Don’t forget to say ‘thank you’ when and if they clap.
I wonder how many people are here.
Okay, first verse down, now for the chorus.
The first few songs went well. I had a few wrong notes and missed lyrics after, but it was the kind of thing most of the audience wouldn’t have noticed. I had a little banter with the audience of about 35 to 50 people at any given time.
It wasn’t until I was finished that I realized I was shaking like holding a fork in an electrical outlet. Steve walked up and talked to me first, which helped settle me only slightly. Then I spoke with people a bit before packing my gear.
I was still shaking as I hugged Beth when I was leaving almost an hour later. I was so grateful to her and let out a massive sigh of relief. I got through it; I didn’t embarrass her or myself.
Like forty years ago, after gigs, I listened to slow, smooth jazz (Miles, Chris Botti, Sonny Rollins, Ramsey Lewis) during the hour-long drive home. That music somehow puts things back into perspective after playing out. It’s the music version of a favorite comfort food.
I was also grateful for those who came out — Steve and his wife, Em, and Lisa (even though I requested they not come) and Kathy, our friend from high school, and everyone else there. I also reached out to those who cheered me on the previous two weeks — my sisters, several other friends, and especially my bandmates.
It was a wonderful experience, not one I’ll soon forget, and now prompts me to continue and improve. I signed up for another Porchfest near the first one, so I have something to work toward.
Eventually, I’d like to look for a paying gig. It’s not necessarily a goal. If life gets in the way and I don’t get to that point, I’ll be fine. But it was fun, and I enjoyed it.
I think I’m slightly desensitized now that it’s been a few weeks. I’m looking back and asking, what was the big deal? What took me so long?
I might not want to know the answers to those two questions.
Instead, I hope to continue to embrace what I’ve learned through the process. I’m forever grateful to my friends and family who were along for this part of the ride over the past month or so. When I look back to Summer 2023, this will be what made it unique.
I also thought about those over the years who’ve given me a nudge, a push, or blew smoke up my backside, whether in music, writing, or any other endeavor. Some of them never knew how much it or they meant to me. If you’re reading this, I hope you do now.
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