Antoni Porowski & Fluid Sexuality
Queer Eye’s Antoni Porowski captured the collective attention of Netflix watchers for a few reasons, from his use of avocados to his attractiveness. What enamoured me to Antoni was his interview with Vulture’s E. Alex Jung about A Little Life. Following that rabbit hole I become more and more aware that there was something else to his gravitational pull, and I think a little of that came from, what felt to me, like bi-ness.
Antoni Porowski Gets A Drag Makeover From Miz Cracker
This sense has been confirmed, though specifically not as a bi label, in the latest video from Them in which Miz Cracker gives Antoni a drag makeover.
While Antoni is being made over, the two discuss being in the Queer Eye spotlight and Pride. If you’ve been paying particular attention to Antoni’s words, and unlike his co-hosts, he doesn’t say that he’s gay. Yet, the public at large; and the show’s producers it seems, were happy to put that label on him. Queer Eye has been celebrated for its new iteration, dropping the original incarnations “…For The Straight Guy” yet, here we have three cisgender, able bodied men fronting the show. Nothing in the name Queer Eye actually requires that of all its hosts.
Fluid Can Refer To Sexuality Or Gender Identity Or Both
Back to the video then, Antoni has chosen to not use labels for himself, and that is important. He says that if he had to choose a word, he would use fluid and discusses that he has had relationships with women and men. Fluid can refer to sexuality or gender identity or both, in this instance, it is sexuality or sexual and/or romantic attraction.
As many bi people will tell you, the erasure of that identity in gay dominated spaces, and in the culture at large, means that often one is assumed gay or straight depending on whether we are in a same-sex or different sex relationship. This is both wrong and really not the point of identifying as a sexuality. Acting on your attraction is not required to “prove” your sexuality. This applies to pansexual people, asexual and aromantic people, as well as those with fluid identities.
Antoni notes that speaking about this fluidity and recognising his past relationships is important for people to hear and for his own sense of authenticity. I can certainly relate. I chose the identifier bi early on, long before I know that fluid or pansexual were options. For me, thinking of myself as fluid feels accurate because at times I’ve been more interested in women, more femme people, or men and masculine energy.
This Pride Season, We Must Be Inclusive & Anti-Erasure
Bi and pan identities are often assumed to have these intrinsic measurements to them, as if one measures attraction to men and women in percentages. But really, since neither of these identities exclude non-binary or agender peoples, room should be made for that too. In fact, no-one has to measure their sexuality or attractions by any amount, unless they want to. It can be helpful for some to consider this, but for many it isn’t. I know I don’t.
We are in Pride season, which means there is a whole lot more talk about LGBTQIA+ people and queerness. So, now feels as good a time as any to remind ourselves that fluid identity is legitimate, choosing not to take a label is okay and being not applying labels to other people is a must.
