Mental health is a big, important topic for the LGBTQIA community. As The Queerness’ Lois Shearing points out, Bi+ identifiers are more likely to have depression or anxiety than heterosexual and gay/lesbian people, along with issues of poverty, resources and substance abuse. The mental health of bisexual people is strained on a daily basis by erasure, along with the normal work and life stresses that everyone faces.
Which makes clearing your mind, finding mental space for the things that really matter to you, so important, especially as bi people. What works for one person might not work for another, but taking time to consider choices and be in your own presence can only be positive for your mental health.
Here, we look at clearing mental space with two popular practices: KonMari and Hygge.
KonMari — Objects are things, only some are given meaning
Conceived by Marie Kondo and based in Japanese values, KonMari is a decluttering technique, a way to tidy your home and be mindful about it. For those of us who find getting rid of things hard, KonMari gives you a tool to help clarify why we want to keep something, and to remind ourselves that want and need aren’t the same.
KonMari is done by set groups of possessions and holding them. You’re then asked to consider if they bring you joy. You then keep or remove the items based on your reactions. Now, the idea of a toaster giving you joy might seem slightly ludicrous, but if you consider that breakfast is an important meal (for some more than others) and being able to grab a quick bite of toast, with the topping of your choice. Having that to hand and being able to enjoy food, you can validate why a toaster is worth keeping. Equally, a ticket stub, candle, bowl or set of pencils might not immediately create an emotive reaction in someone else. What matters in KonMari is that it matters to you. The candle might have been a gift from a close friend, the ticket from a concert with an ex, the set of pencils kept since childhood. All can bring you joy in the remembering, as well as the use.
KonMari taps into the increasing interest in mindfulness within the last 10 years, which in tandem with the technological uptake has forced more of us to consider time offline or even digital detoxes. We actively want to be looking after ourselves and this is one way to do that.
With so much input from the world, especially in a consumerist country, placing a value on things based on their resonance, rather than their resale value is an admirable way to live. If we really think about what makes our life worth living, it’s unlikely to be the items that hold no sentimental value at all.
Practices like KariMari are mindful in themselves and, as a result, can be beneficial for your mental health. A decluttered space is a decluttered mind. Even reflecting on memories, that which sparks memory, can be enough to reassure you of a life well lived on darker days.
Hygge — Connecting with yourself, as well as others
Sharing experiences is one of the ways in which we truly bond with people. Remembering good times, as well as hardships which showed us how supportive friends and family can be, is one of the reasons we love photo albums. Instagram exists because of this feeling, wanting to share and reflect of times gone by. Granted, it has morphed into a more diverse social media platform, but the principle is still there. We share images so that others can feel with us. Along with Snapchat and YouTube, Instagram is one the most important communication tools for young people.
Feeling a sense of connection, taking time to be around and with the people that make you feel comfortable is what Hygge is all about. The Danish principle is far older than KonMari, yet Hygge is relatively new to many people. Hygge, pronounced hue-gah, is about looking inward, finding comfort, but also acknowledging contrast. Hygge, like KonMari, is a not trying to assert that everything else becomes fine once you follow these ideals. Rather, they want to enable people to find serenity.
When considered alongside mental health and wellness, seeking hygge is then very valuable. While hygge has been co-opted by advertisers and those looking to make a quick buck; it is very on trend after all, it doesn’t require anything specific to practice. Hygge, as outlined by Louisa Thompson Britts Book of Hygge, is about finding that which brings you closeness and wraps you up in its embrace. That could be a literal blanket or a pub fire, or it could be a local coffee shop full of vibrant people.
Making time for Hygge can help you to accept what you know deep down, that you should be doing things that make me happy, not just what you think you should be doing. If you’re prone to panicking and telling yourself that you should be working on weekends, making time to see everyone in your friends list, doing more exercise, reading more books, doing more errands, etc, asking what you need really will help you to slow down.
Clearing mental space isn’t easy, and it’s not something that everyone has the luxury of doing all the time. But for the sake of your mental health you should consider finding ways to cope, be present and find joy what you do have, whether it be KonMari, Hygge, yoga, meditation, drawing or whatever else gives you focus.
