Podcasts We Love: Queery with Cameron Esposito
This is a bit of a pre-plug for an episode of the Queery podcast which discusses bisexuality, specifically an upcoming episode with Mae Martin which was recorded at the London Podcast Festival. I was lucky enough to be able to attend the recording of a great conversation between two very funny people. This episode touched on bisexuality, pansexuality and gender expression and I highly recommend you keep an ear out for it.
What is Queery about?
Queery is an in-conversation podcast series where the host, and comic, Cameron Esposito talks for 45 mins to an hour (at least in the edit) with a person from the queer community. As Cameron explains in the intro to each episode, it is a conversation with individuals about how they identify, what words they use to identify and why that is. It’s a safe space for those who don’t have all the “correct” ways to talk about ourselves, aka those without a degree in gender studies.
It is for this reason that Cameron also gets her guests to introduce themselves, to get from them the ways in which they define themselves. Often this doesn’t revolve around their gender or sexuality, but sometimes it does. Both are valid.
The depth and range of the conversations are shaped by the guests, what they want to talk about and what they want to explore. Cameron has a wonderfully open perspective which is what seems to lead the guests to talk about topics that you would perhaps not expect from a podcast, but would only discuss in your own friend groups, where you can be your most honest.
Cameron is clearly a very talented comic and that can help to lift darker topics when needed. After all, a conversation that cuts to the bone isn’t a better conversation than one where you can touch on a serious topic, but don’t rest of the pain of it when you don’t have to.
Each episode is different, with some discussing local issues and the LGBTQIA community in that person’s area, while others talk about relationships or favourite queer media or the issues that feel most important to that person. It makes for varied, intriguing listening.
Bisexuality on podcasts
You can listen to a lot of queer or LGBT podcasts, or those claiming to be, and it will very much centre on the cis, gay experience above all others. There are few where bisexuality is raised up and reiterated as a valid identity, which for someone who is bi+ is reassuring, to be included. The podcast Psychobabble with YouTuber Tyler Oakley and Korey Kuhl, which is very millenial and gen Z facing, often validates bisexuality in casual conversation (though both hosts are gay) and even do specific bisexual episodes, while discussing pop culture. Making it seamless is what really helps to normalise bisexuality as a valid identity.
In the Queery episode with Mae Martin, the discussion does at one point revolve around bisexuality, pansexuality and generally the idea of attraction to more than one gender regardless of whether that results in sex. I think this kind of conversation is really important if we, as the bi+ community, want to find a way to be on the same page about what being bi means in 2018 and beyond. Knowing the difference between bisexual and pansexual is one that many people in the bi+ community struggle with, in part it seems due to pansexual seeming to be a new term, even though the term first existed as far back as 1917.
We can get it wrong, and we can learn
One of the biggest takeaways I’ve gotten from Queery is that we can all get terms wrong, but we can all learn and improve. We can’t understand every experience, certainly if we haven’t knowingly been exposed to those who have had a different experience to ours, but what we need to do is to “listen with an open heart”, as Cameron says.
It is Bi Visibility Month and so now is as good a time as any to be the educators for others. It can often require a little extra mental space and/or effort on the part of the biromatic, pansexual, bisexual and aromatic, the bi+ people among us, but for the most part there are good intentions out there from others who want to know what the right thing to say is. With a willingness to learn, anyone can get it right and help those around them to feel included.
More from Cameron Esposito
TW: Sexual violence
Cameron Esposito is the comic who recently released a stand-up special called “Rape Jokes” in which she expertly finds humour while navigating the difficult subject of sexual assault, all while reclaiming so-called rape jokes from the male comedians who think rape is a punchline. You can watch her special for free, or preferably, you can watch it online and make a donation through her website to RAINN, an anti sexual violence organisation in the US.
