Here Is Why Networking Can Be Hard for You

I have always admired those who are good at networking, but clearly only from a distance. Going any closer to them would leave me feeling odd, so I’d try to vacate the scene. In fact, I am skilled in multiple areas, that I know for sure, but if I have not achieved anything more significant than merely selling my skills for a monthly income, helping and guiding others, and volunteering for self-satisfaction, the major reason behind that is my fear of networking. Does the thought of having to network make you feel uncomfortable, too? Then read on.

What Is Networking?

Networking can be defined as getting to know different people in your circle and developing and maintaining professional or semi-professional relationships with them, so you can learn from them, share resources, seek help, and grow. It is indeed a much needed skill, I admit — it helps you balance being dependent on others in a healthy way and being independent.

Why Is Networking Important?

It is almost impossible for anyone in any field to achieve their goals and get what they deserve without networking. Whatever your choice of career be, whatever your nature and personality are, if you intend to be successful in life and also want to be independent, networking is the way.

Why Could Networking Possibly Be Difficult for You?

1. You do not want to come out of your comfort zone!

This is a major drawback for a huge number of people who are highly skilled but haven’t gone anywhere in life. Admit it, please. It could be that you do not want to upgrade your skills or that you are more than comfortable in living the life you want with the money your parents or partner earn or you are afraid of hard work. Whatever it is, nobody that is unwilling to come out of their comfort zone has made it to the top as far as I know. That is what is enchanting about success — it is the fruit of your own labour, which makes it delicious, and to achieve that, you definitely must come out of your comfort zone.

2. You feel inferior to others.

This is not something I struggle with personally, but I know a lot of people that do have this problem. It could be that you are basically unhappy or dissatisfied with yourself in one or more areas — your appearance, your ability to strike a conversation and keep it going, your level of knowledge and the skills you possess, your health issues or other difficulties, your fear of being bullied. I know it is not easy to get over, but I would suggest, my friend, that you try to stop comparing yourself with others. Not everyone out there would be a bully or make sarcastic remarks. And not all of them who are successful in your circle are perfect. Go easy on yourself.

3. You are a perfectionist.

You cannot deal with most people because you cannot deal with anyone that doesn’t take their work and commitments just as seriously as you do! You two had agreed to meet at 5 PM in the local cafe. It’s 5:15 PM and the person is still on the way! OMG! You had divided responsibilities in a team project and all of you had agreed to finish the tasks assigned to you by Sunday evening, so your entire team would be ready to take it to the next level on Monday morning. And one or more people in the team have not done their share of work. What’s worse? Their social media update says they were partying during the weekend! How could such people exist? Finding people that match your expectations has always been difficult for you starting from your school days.

4. You are an idealist.

In other words, you are that unbearable, fussy little child that people wouldn’t be able to find many flaws with (they wouldn’t care to either) and that’s the biggest flaw. Stop being ridiculous, will you? That’s something I am telling myself as I type. Let me state two cases — my professional relationships with two of my managers from the past. With one, I really enjoyed working with him because he was all I’d expect anyone to be — humble, polite, friendly, honest, considerate … This person inspired me to work, and work was just as pleasant as meeting in the office canteen for coffee once in a while. Another manager was someone that nobody in the team liked — others, the practical people disliked her secretly, whereas I would find it very difficult to hide my dislike because she was racist, a snob, bossy, self-centered, insecure, fake, and … Enough. <I’m rolling my eyes because being too fussy is unethical!> Please keep your ideals to yourself — no matter who says what, not all of them need be like you are!

5. You cannot separate personal life and professional life.

Like I said, I highly admire those who are good at networking. Some of them, you’ll never know what kind of a person they really are until you get really close. They are that good at drawing and maintaining those boundaries. Work is work. Some could be going through depression or be under medication for serious issues and even then no co-worker would know. And some others can’t pretend in their office hours that their personal life is going smoothly. I’m not saying that all of you are attention seekers. I am only saying that you need to learn to compartmentalize. Not everyone needs to know. You don’t want to risk your career because you are going through a divorce.

6. You are lazy to maintain those relationships.

Networking is serious business. You can’t expect people to take you seriously if you won’t put in the effort to maintain these relationships. After years of contact and rejecting all the invitations to participate in events, professional, social, and personal like wedding, if you are going to contact someone and seek help for something urgently, why would they want to help you, unless they are going for some spiritual programs and their master told them to “forgive, forget and be kind”? Yes, networking is work, too, and you need to do that if you want your hard work to get noticed.

Also, networking is an art, you could say. I know several people who can easily mingle with people, very smoothly cover up for their mistakes, and leave a mark in people’s minds in such a way that they can’t be forgotten. These are the most successful people when it comes to networking! At any stage in life, they can always find some contact or the other when they need help with something. And their contacts would only be more than happy to help them with anything.

Look at the most successful people you know, including your favourite actor and that successful writer with several contacts, those who devote their time to network and also help others. We have to learn from them if we want to be as successful as they are, right?

Are you one of those individuals that are pretty much talented but still fear marketing yourself, advertising your strengths, and networking for one or more of the above mentioned reasons? If so, why not get out of your comfort zone, embrace your true self and your talent, go out there, meet new people, and start developing a professional network today? Give it a try. You’ll never know unless you try!