7 Women Share Their Most ‘Shameful’ Personal Hygiene Secrets

Refinery29 UK
Refinery29
Published in
3 min readNov 18, 2020

By Jess Commons

Cast your mind back, if you will, to the Sex and the City episode about SSB (secret single behaviour) — the self-care you indulge in when you’re by yourself and have no partner to answer to. The most shameful SSB the writers could pull out of their hat back in 2002 was that Charlotte, when she was really and truly alone, liked to stare at her pores in the mirror for an hour every night.

Just stare. Not even squeeze.

In real life, women are much grosser than that. Women fart and have discharge and pop pimples and leave tampons in for too long — not that you’d know from what they’re willing to admit outside their close friendship groups. Although things are changing, for a long time, men just did not want to know about women’s bodily functions, which made women ashamed to talk about the so-called ‘grosser’ aspects of their bodies. At university, I was friends with a group of boys who loved their poo so much, they kept a blog where they rated pictures of each other’s faeces. Really. However, when it came to their girlfriends’ bodily functions, they were very much of the lalala-girls-don’t-poo-fingers-in-the-ears mindset. Don’t even get me started on what their 19-year-old boy brains thought about periods.

Illustrator Tallulah Pomeroy finds this contradiction immensely frustrating, especially after reading the no-holds-barred Wetlands by Charlotte Roche (read it), and started a closed Facebook group for women to share their most ‘shameful’ hygiene admissions. She got so many varied responses that she started to draw them. She put them in a ‘zine, which then became a book: A Girl’s Guide To Personal Hygiene.

“It wasn’t nosiness,” she says of her motivation to set up the Facebook group in the first place. “I thought if we could admit that we are pretty gross, then maybe we could relax a little.”

She admits that, as the group grew and evolved into a place where women would ask deeply personal “PLEASE IS IT JUST ME” questions, she wavered a little. “I almost wished I could close the lid again,” she says. “I’d been made uncomfortable in my new position as a receptacle for other people’s dirty stories but it was exactly that sense of shame I wanted to combat.”

The way the women were sharing spurred her on. “They gave me confidence, and I didn’t want to let them down.”

Tallulah has shared a few illustrations and confessions from A Girl’s Guide… and they make for a hilarious read. Click through to see a few of our favourites, then why not join the group and share a few confessions of your own?

7 Confessions…

"I sometimes use my hair to floss between my teeth."

“I pick the inside of the tops of my ears. Little scabs form. I wish I didn’t.”

“I sometimes like to pick my nose while I masturbate. It helps.”

“After 12 years of periods, I still have trouble with not leaking on fresh white sheets, which is especially unladylike when you’re a guest. So a couple of years ago I came up with this neat trick where I roll up a square of loo roll and stick it in between my butt cheeks. Works so well I feel like it should be a marketed product. Stuff ya cheeks, save ya sheets.”

“When I was camping, I emptied my Mooncup into a shallow part at the edge of a river. For a while I sat and watched little fish nibble on bits of my womb. I had lots of profound thoughts about the ‘circle of life’.”

“How about that great feeling of a fart rolling between your fanny lips?”

“My amore and I once spent a happy afternoon shaving each other’s pubes with his new razor. I shaved his bum crack, and he was so unfamiliar with the sensation of smooth bum cheeks rubbing together that he thought he’d pooed himself.”

Originally published at https://www.refinery29.com.

Originally published at https://www.refinery29.com.

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Refinery29 UK
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