“Marry Rich”: Love Coaches Are Telling Women To Channel Feminine Energy
At least 17 times a day, whether it’s while taking out the trash, washing the dishes or working to a deadline, I mutter to myself: “I need to marry rich.” I daydream about bumping into my mysterious benefactor at a fancy bar and never having to work again — until I’m rudely awakened by the sound of an email notification pressing me on something I’m late for. Securing a rich man, otherwise known as hypergamy, is no easy feat; it requires time, dedication and impeccable attention to detail regarding behaviours as well as aesthetics which, according to the exploding love coaching industry, fall under the umbrella of ‘femininity’.
It turns out that anything can be packaged and sold to you under capitalism.
But what does ‘femininity’ mean in this context and, crucially, who gets to define it? The practice of femininity coaching can reinforce archaic gender roles; it can be classist, anti-Black, exclusionary. Yet it has risen in popularity, at once alongside and in opposition to contemporary feminism.
The emphasis on performing femininity when it comes to dating for women is nothing new. For years now, dating and love coaches have pointed to the ‘divine feminine’ energy (or, rather, a lack of it) as an explanation for why many…
