Your Halloweekend Horoscope Is Here
By: The AstroTwins
Halloween #FTW! The planets are conspiring on behalf of All Hallows’ Eve with a horoscopic lineup so hauntingly ideal, we’re already breaking out our broomsticks for a test flight. Yes, it’s also pretty annoying that October 31 falls on a Monday. But the weekend’s stars kick vampire ass, guaranteeing pre-funks galore. From Saturday night through the 31st, the sun, moon, and social Mercury will simmer in Scorpio, lending seductive and spooky vibes that could verge on legendary. On Sunday, there will even be a re-energizing new moon in Scorpio, waking us up like sleeping werewolves. If you crashed early on Saturday night, there won’t be a repeat of that apple-bobbing fail — Monday-morning meetings, be damned.
Scorpio energy can be intense. This is the sign that rules money, sex, power, and vengeance, after all — and this cosmic cauldron could serve up a strong brew of emotion. But hey, instead of acting out a revenge fantasy, how about cosplaying it out? And after weeks of all the Trump-fueled rape-culture headlines, this Halloween’s Scorpionic allure offers a unique, political opportunity for women to grab back sexual power with the might of 10,000 SlutWalks. Paging Amber Rose! Wear the fishnets, corsets, lingerie, and over-the-knee-boots if you damn well please. Your costume, your body, your choice!
Scorpio
October 23 to November 21
Step up and claim your prize! You are the clear winner of Halloween 2016. From Saturday night through Monday, the sun, moon, and Mercury will swirl through Scorpio, waking up your wild side. There’s even a new moon in Scorpio on Sunday, which fuels your celebratory game even further. Take charge of the plans — no apologies for being a little bossy. Keep your squad small and flexible, because you won’t want to stay in any one place for too long. Romantically, celebrations will be spicy. Forget the cat-and-mouse games. Your obvious interest will be a turn-on.
Sagittarius
November 22 to December 21
The Cullen family is cool with you this Halloween, but keep the garlic and cross handy because a few energy vampires may be closing in on your celebration. Keep plans on the DL so you don’t wind up dragging anyone along “out of obligation.” With planets in your foggy 12th house, your gift of gab is on hiatus starting late Saturday night: All the better for dancing, kissing, or holding hands at a midnight showing of Rocky Horror.
Capricorn
December 22 to January 19
Let’s do the time warp again, Capricorn! Remember when life wasn’t so…complicated? Stop yourself before you take charge of all the Halloween-planning and wind up deluged in texts and annoying calls trying to secure tickets. With planets percolating in your teamwork zone on Halloween — and the weekend before — let someone else play entertainment director. Keep your guest list open: As you’re with a lively crowd, everything will be copacetic. Sexy sparks could fly with a wizard or zombie who tags along with a mutual friend.
Aquarius
January 20 to February 18
Bewitching and bromantic times are in store for Aquarius this Halloween. With a cluster of planets camped out in your masculine 10th house from Saturday night on, make sure to include your favorite dudes in your celebration. This doesn’t mean your celebratory squad has to look like a Trump rally — but if you wanted to conspire on an ironic costume theme together, you could certainly draw laughs. Keep your cell within reach, because a text to an invite-only party could pop up on your screen. If you have to ghost on your boys to enjoy it, no guilt!
Pisces
February 19 to March 20
Hop on that express broomstick to #anywherebuthome. With planets pulsing through your travel sector from Saturday the 29th on, you’ll have the best time feting Halloween in another city — and even having a fun, no-strings fling with one of the hot locals. Stuff your suitcase with some extra masks, blinky lights, body paint, and costumery. Sharing is caring for your generous sign. If you can’t skip town, celebrate with a new friend group. This is the perfect excuse to expand your social horizons.
Aries
March 21 to April 19
There’s no escaping Halloween’s seductive vibes for Aries this year, which begin to percolate on Saturday the 29th. A minx-y masquerade might be right up your alley, so sift through your “unmentionables” drawer for an accessory or two. There could be crazy chemistry with a deep and fascinating person whom you meet or bring as your date. If you spend half the night snogging in a secret corner, we wouldn’t be surprised.
Taurus
April 20 to May 20
Costume party for two? A spate of Scorpio planets lights up your partnership house during this long Halloween weekend. It won’t be hard to convince your BFF or boo to be your co-conspirator in a masquerade, whether you’re stepping out in matching gear or parading around as a famous couple. Single Bulls might start celebrations solo — but you probably won’t end them that way. No need to formulate a pick-up line — just make sure your costume is easy icebreaker fodder.
Gemini
May 21 to June 20
Hit the thrift stores and call a craft night. Your DIY game is strong this Halloween, and your customized touches could make you an easy victor of that costume-contest cash prize. The spirit of service strikes starting Saturday the 29th, so you might even help a creatively challenged friend or crush pull together an amazing outfit. On a somewhat inconvenient note, the stars are calling for a health kick during this sugary, boozy celebration. With your gift of gab, you don’t need to be lit to light up the room.
Cancer
June 21 to July 22
Stop masquerading your feelings, Cancer. Halloween arrives with a live-out-loud starmap for your sign. If real-life you can’t express certain things, get into character and let Halloween you do the talking. Glamorous and upbeat parties will be your poison from Saturday night through the 31st. Slip on something sequined and dance the night away. You could easily wind up celebrating like a VIP from the DJ booth.
Leo
July 23 to August 22
A homespun Halloween is what 2016 has in store. Nothing wrong with a few weekend hours spent binge-watching campy horror flicks in your “costume” of yoga pants and a hoodie (cat or cuddle buddy optional). But come ON! You’re a Leo, for god’s sake, and missing the most theatrical long weekend of the year is just…wrong. Opt for a comfy costume — maybe give the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man a sexy update; or, since your female-friendship sector is lit up by Halloween’s stars, reprise the 2016Ghostbusters cast with your GFs. Smaller house parties will be your vibe.
Virgo
August 23 to September 22
Pairing is caring this Halloween season, as planets swirl through Scorpio and your house of dynamic duos. A buddy-themed costume scheme could be the best bonding experience. And definitely opt for “over-the-top” when selecting your masquerade. Leave the needy or pokey types at home. You’ll have a short attention span, preferring to party-hop instead of staying in one place too long. A flirty connection could turn into a hauntingly hot hookup before Monday!
Libra
September 23 to October 22
Bare your fangs selectively this Halloween season, Libra. With an intimate squad of Scorpio planets in your sensual second house, you might not be big into the rowdy party scene. Even if you do make a cameo, you could soon be slipping off to snuggle in a cozy corner booth. A haute Halloween could also be your vibe, so if you’ve been saving up, this could be a memorable splurge. Gather a few fancy friends for a five-course tasting menu made with seasonal ingredients, followed by an invite-only masquerade ball.
