Why I Do Things.
The following was written on the 28th of February, 2013 on a plane. It was my last day at my first full-time programming job. I had intended on writing more, but after revisiting it some months later, I feel that it is important that I post it unedited and incomplete.
Planes are a great motivation for self reflection. This flight in particular has given me some time to clear my mind and recall experiences and anticipate those to come.
I spent this week in Istanbul, Turkey with some of the most special people I have or will ever meet. As some of you may know, I am leaving my position at Duke University to pursue another opportunity. While I am extremely thrilled about the what is ahead of me, that is not going to be the topic of this writing.
One year ago, I had 0 experience with programming full-time. I decided to learn Ruby after getting laid off in July 2011, and I moved back home with my parents where I spent a little over 6 months immersing myself in all things design and code. This turned out to be time well spent, and I landed a job at the Center for Health Policy at Duke.
When I started at Duke, I had absolutely no idea what to do. I just knew that I wanted to do it. I’d run into a simple problem, and work on it until I found the solution. Sometimes this would take until midnight, but thankfully my schedule was flexible and I didn’t have to report my every move to a supervisor. After putting myself through a month or two of hell, I started to feel like I owned the work I was doing, and it felt good.
The applications that I maintained and developed at Duke were mostly for creating surveys and gathering data in less developed nations. I spent 3 months cross-training with the fine gentleman I replaced, but once he left the future of these applications was placed in my hands. Sound scary? It was fucking terrifying. I was not as fast as a senior developer would have been, but they trusted me. They saw that I cared and that I was happy to be a part of something so important. I am extremely grateful for this.
My first few months alone on the job were almost completely technical. It was great. I learned a ton about Ruby, JavaScript, debugging, and other tools of the trade. But then something happened. I saw more of the big picture. I was creating things that had meaning.
In January 2013 I visited one of our study sites in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. The team in Addis focuses on gathering data on orphaned children and their caregivers. I worked with them to set up a network and system that allowed them to enter the data and send it back to the US.
During my time there, I saw living conditions that I had only read about in magazines or saw on television. Even the people employed by the organization that works directly with Duke live in shelters that you and I would consider unlivable.
But these people were dedicating their lives to giving back to their country. Their mission is to improve the quality of life for children, even though their own living conditions are lacking. This is true for all of our study sites, which include Ethiopia, Tanzania, Cambodia, India, and others.
Experiencing these things struck a chord within me. Up to this point, I was just trying to get paid for doing something I love. This is wonderful, and more than most people could ever ask for. But I see now that this isn’t enough for me. I need to make a difference. I need to help others. Whether this is through software, teaching, or creative means, I will force myself to focus on others before myself. If I accomplish anything in life, I want other people to benefit from it, rather than me benefiting from them.
