Buddha: Farmer, Businessman, and Relationship Guru
“To give your cow or sheep a large, spacious meadow is the best way to control him.”
I am not a farmer or herder, but I do know that keeping a cow or sheep in small, cramped conditions is not healthy for the animal. Animals experience stress, just like people do, and when they are stressed and uneasy, they can lash out like we can. And animals, like people, do not thrive in tiny spaces that they can never exit. Pet birds who do not have enough room to fly can grow sick and depressed. The same goes for retriever breed dogs kept in small rooms with no space to run and play, or cats left in a crate or sparse room with nothing to climb. And we all know what happens to goldfish depending on their tank size.
Unlike the goldfish, cows and sheep and dogs and many other animals do not quadruple in size if their living space allows it. But they will thrive like a goldfish in a large tank if they have a “spacious meadow” in which to flourish. Buddha says this is the best way to control them, but I do not read the word to mean dominate, manipulate or rule them. What I read in control are the more positive sounding aspects like manage, lead, guide, handle. I think this is what most would believe that Buddha meant, too. As Buddha’s words can and should be interpreted, then we also note that giving your cow or sheep a spacious meadow is good farming advice, but it mainly applies to other facets of life.
I have been thinking a lot about the business and leadership lately. Buddha’s instruction here is well applied to the workforce. I once heard a company leader discuss a technology he used to keep track of every little thing his employees did, making sure they did their assigned tasks exactly on time and finished everything on their plates. Of course this was not for a hospital, where time is of the essence and one unfinished task or mistake can affect a life. This was for a semi-creative technology company, where life and death decisions are not faced. His presentation made me cringe, and my insides twist and crunch to this day when I think of working for someone like him. His employees had no leeway, no “spacious meadow” to conduct their business. Their work environment was constrictive and suffocating, bordering on Big Brother overseeing. It did not help that he was obviously looking at these human beings as cows and sheep (or, more accurately, machines) under his control. Without an ounce of wiggle room and no space in sight for any of those workers, it’s a wonder how any of them got and continue to get anything done in an effective and helpful manner.
Some people are “control freaks,” and when they end up leading businesses or organizations, their need to reign in all workers makes them put up fences and cages around each person. What they don’t realize is that their ideas of controlling their employees are simply illusions. The workers’ minds will wander, they will feel stifled, they will be resentful, and they will eventually leave such a toxic environment. Employees are not cows or sheep, but they need space to create and be productive. Many companies, like Google, Netflix, and Pixar, have realized the importance of break time, vacation, workplace flexibility, and other “meadows” that they can give their employees. Work performance improves, morale is high, and turnover is less likely when your employer gives you a large field instead of a cage.
Buddha’s principle should not stop in the workplace — it’s a homework lesson, something to bring back after the workday is done. People need space to grow and flourish in their personal relationships and life in general. Keeping a child on a regimented over-booked schedule of constant “enriching” activities produces anxiety-driven seven-year-olds. Refusing to trust a teenager at any time leads to rebellion and risks taken. That 9:30 bedtime will not stick through the teen years, and “no dating until you turn 17” is not going to stop them from going out. It only encourages them to lie to their parents. That is not control over one’s children. Herding them like animals does not guide them to find the best path.
One’s significant other needs to be given a spacious meadow, too. That is not to say they should be allowed to stray (except in mutually agreed upon open relationships that work best for certain couples); rather, a tight leash in all circumstances leads to the same lying, anxiety, and rebellion of the above children. A significant other is a person, not a dog. People need alone time and to be trusted — without those, how can they be expected to be at their best? Smothering, monitoring, and irrational jealousy only harm relationships, both romantic and platonic. Usually, when you find those behaviors in a relationship, they are abusive. Perhaps not always physically, but certainly emotionally and sometimes verbally. If my boyfriend would not let me spend time with my male friends, we would have a problem. If I did not let him have a minute alone, either by constantly being in his presence or incessant calls and texts, we would have a problem. It is important that we pursue interests, relationships, and reflection in our own time, in our own space. We may be a couple, but we are still two different people. He has his own lessons to learn in this life and so do I. Sometimes we can help each other in learning, but we are the only ones who can fully internalize each lesson and experience it ourselves.
Without a spacious meadow, how else would we have room to run and greet each other at the center?
Don’t just give your cows, your employees, and your loved ones a meadow. Give one to yourself. Stretch your arms, stretch your legs, stretch your lungs, stretch your brain. By not keeping your body and mind in a cage, you can better lead, manage, and guide yourself to the right path.
