Reflective Stance
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Reflective Stance

This is a picture of my grandmother in her early 20s. Though I am not sure when exactly this picture was taken, she told us that she went grey at 25 so it had to have been some time before that. After reading this to my mother, she tells me that Rose was 21 here and she was on a trip to New York to visit my grandfather’s family.


This was me, Michael and Carolyn. I am not sure who is next to my grandmother in the picture but it didn’t matter I guess. It was picture time and as you can see from this and the subsequent photos, as each sibling was born, we ALL piled onto her lap.
That’s me in the purple. I would wear purple from head to toe if given the opportunity, each and every day. My siblings from left to right are my older sister, Carolyn, my younger sister, Judy, and to my right, my older brother, Michael. The youngest, Mark, wasn’t born yet in this picture.
In this one, my younger sister Judy is missing by I am on my grandfather, Charlie’s lap. Mark is the little baby, Michael is in the front and Carolyn is the beauty on the right on my grandmother’s lap. It must have been a special occasion as Carolyn and I are dressed up but also because the plastic is off the sofa!
The view from my Grandmother’s apartment. As we would drive up we would all scream, “Grammy’s waving!” and there she was. It didn’t matter what the weather was. When she knew we were coming, she waited on the balcony for us. I still look up there when I drive by…though she has been gone for 29 years.
That’s my teacup and saucer in front of a picture of my grandparents at a Visitors’ Day at Camp Timberlane. I have always loved this picture because I felt like it looked like they were in heaven in their white clothes, looking down on me.
This is the cat I used to play with at my Grandmother’s apartment when I was a little girl.
This is the dress she made me for my Barbie doll. I had one Barbie doll and not very many outfits so she solved that my making me my own Barbie couture. I keep the dress in my desk drawer.
This is my older brother, Michael. about to take a deep dive into my grandmother’s pool. I loved it there. I remember swimming on my back and going under the water and looking at the sky and water reflected in the sunlight. The sky would be a periwinkle colour and I would marvel at the way the waves would move over my face to reveal new colours.
My grandmother was always game for some silly stuff. She was incredibly dynamic and intelligent though she wouldn’t say she was. She lived her life for others, caring for the elderly at Baycrest, supporting my grandfather who passed only six years before her though he was ten years older than her. She took care of all of us. I truly believe we were her absolute joy.
My and my Grammy when I was about fourteen years old before she was sick.



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Dr Debbie Donsky

REFLECTIVE STANCE writer, thinker, drawer, painter, designer, mommy, teacher, leader, learner of all things