Has there ever been something that you changed about yourself, that you wish you hadn’t?
Everyone has opinions about how we should show up in the world. How we should act. What we should look like. How we should talk. What we should say. What should matter to us. The chute of opinions is never ending. Sometimes, these opinions on things we should “change” comes from people really close to us — friends and family members — and that can be really really hard. Other times, these opinions on things we need to change come from the messages of the world. You know, things we see on magazine and on new stands, and on social media, or the internet, or in TV and movies. Because what the world glorifies, we learn to also think that we should have, and change all of the things that don’t fit into that mold.
As we age, often times it’s natural to get more and more comfortable in who you are and in the skin you’re in. Everyone, or mostly everyone, has at some point changed something about themselves not because THEY wanted to, but because they were told either consciously or subconsciously that they had to in order to be liked, to be loved, to be successful…you get the picture. But! That’s not true. Not one bit.
You do not have to change ANYTHING about yourself to have everything you’ve ever wanted. All you have to do is tap into that deeply confident part of yourself that already exists exactly as you are. I’m not saying you never want to grow or change, you do! We all do! But it’s why we’re making that change that really matters. The best changes are the ones that come from that deeply rooted place. The worst changes comes from the ones that we think we’re “supposed” to do in order to fit in.
Our friend meaghan did this once when she was first getting into the workforce. She’s a really opinionated and outspoken person, but she was told directly and indirectly that such expressions of her intelligence weren’t the way to the top. They told her she needed to be quiet. And they told her to keep her ideas to herself. Well, you can imagine that over time, especially for someone very vocal, trying to be someone she wasn’t not only made her anxious and insecure about her own gifts, she had literally suppressed the things that most made her her. It ate at her confidence until one day a mentor from a different chapter of her life reminded her that these qualities she’s trying to change to fit in at work are actually the exact qualities that she should magnify in order to be successful. So, she found a new workplace that appreciated her intelligence being vocalized, and her success has been unstoppable ever since.
Whatever you’re being told to change, don’t’. Not unless it really resonates with you as something to improve upon. Rather, take all the things that maybe don’t fit into other people’s molds and magnify them. Think of one of those things right now. And find one way you can NOT minimize that quality this week. The world need you to be more of it. Not less of it.
