Journaling and therapy have more in common than you think
The purpose of therapy is to help you become your own parent.
That seems like a weird statement, huh? But it’s real and powerful:
My task as a therapist is to make myself obsolete — to help a patient become his or her own mother and father
— Irvin Yalom (Existential Psychiatrist)
To be your own parent means that you can:
- comfort yourself when in pain
- regulate your feelings and see the world realistically
- give yourself advice that is right, honorable, and useful — not petty, resentful, and destructive
It is not copying whatever upbringing you were raised with; it is nurturing care and wisdom already within you.
What happens in therapy is that you are guided towards becoming your own parent by a caring companion.
Through a supportive and honest relationship, this person helps you understand the world and see yourself as you appear to others — which makes you better able to navigate life.
It’s a messy, painful, but ultimately beautiful process; I wholeheartedly recommend it.
It changed my life.
So did journaling.
Journaling also helps you get in contact with your inner parent, so from a psychological point of view, the purpose of journaling is the same as in therapy.
Why? Because journaling is:
- engaging in self-comfort
- tackling personal inadequacies and incongruences
- prioritizing and aiming for continuous growth within and around you
This ultimately means that journaling is taking responsibility for the world around you by continuously challenging and improving yourself.
Personally, journaling provides me with a space to connect with the part of myself that wants things to be better — to connect with my own inner parent.
Whenever I sit down and write, this wise miniature woman inside my mind pops out. She’s wearing ugly glasses, her forehead is all wrinkly, and she has a judgy look in her eyes that’s unbearable; I can’t lie to her.
She forces me to think about why I (or others) acted a certain way — to tell the truth and do what is right.
She makes me grow. Journaling makes me grow.
Just like therapy.
Reflect with Reflectly: So a way to become mentally healthy is to become your own parent — what do you think of this idea? What is healthy parenting for you?
