What 5 things must you do before you die?

Have you ever written a bucket list before? Typically, people think about these as long lists of all the things both big and small that we want to do while we still have time. Bucket lists range everything from really big travels spots, to seeing world wonders, to small things like picking up a strangers check at dinner.

When you thought about the five things you wanted to do, were they big things or small things? Big things are fun because they bring to us all that we think is exhilarating and possible. The small things typically remind us of the simple pleasures that are oh so important.

What’s interesting, is that those who study and people at the end of their lives and those who are dying, find the same things…that our wishes on our deathbed actually have nothing to do with these big and grand bucket list items. Rather, they’re typically about something else all together: regrets. In a book by Bronnie Ware called the top 5 regrets of the dying, after years of working with patients in the last few months of their lives she found five regrets. The first was wishing they’d had the courage to live their true self rather than what people expected. The second was wishing they hadn’t worked so hard. The third was wishing they had had the courage to express their feelings. The fourth was wishing they had stayed in touch with friends. And the fifth was about letting themselves be happier.

It’s interesting right? When you read these 5 regrets, do any of them immediately resonate with you? See, so often when we think about what we wish we’d do before we die, we go to these really big and grand bucket list items. But in the end, it seems like they don’t actually matter. What does matter is how we live our lives. Are we working too hard? Are we expressing ourselves? Are we being true to who we are? Are we connecting with those we love? Are we letting joy and happiness come easily?

Hopefully, our answers can be yes. This week, instead of working on any of your grand bucket list items (which are fun! So don’t throw them away!), we want you to think about which of these regrets of the dying resonate the most with you. Once you know yours, can you think of a way to implement a small action to counteract that regret. For example, if “wishing they had stayed in touch with friends” really resonated with you, can you choose one friend to reach out to and catch up with this week?

Here’s the 5 regrets again for you to pick from: working too hard, not connecting with friends enough, not being true to themselves, not sharing their feelings, and not letting themselves be happier. Now think about your small action and go do that today. These little moments of presence are way more powerful than any exciting bucket list could ever be!