Do you mind?
This past Shabbat I tried something new: I did a little meditation to begin my day of rest.
I turned my phone off and the TV off and had alerted the appropriate people that they would have to survive 24 hours without texting me constantly, but my mind was still buzzing as the sun set. I tried to focus on the book I was reading, but I was antsy and distracted and it just wasn’t working.
So, I turned off the main lights in my apartment and, by the glow of my string lights, I lay down my yoga mat in the middle of my floor. I did some half-real-half-made-up yoga moves; a few modified sun salutations, a few seated breathing exercises, and then a few minutes of shavasana (aka lying flat on the floor). The standing movements and seated breathing helped me calm myself, roll out the jitters, and be still. The peaceful time lying down allowed me to actually think.
I thought about the day ahead and what I was looking forward to; I thought about what I wanted to ‘work on’ during that time; and I thought about what Shabbat means to me. I am NOT one for yoga or meditation — it’s amazing my mat hadn’t collected dust from such disuse — but it was actually quite nice to think more purposefully. (And without some instructor pointing out that my hamstrings are tight and my balance sucks. I get it. Move on.)
After 10–15 minutes of yoga and meditation, I curled back up into bed with my book. I felt calm, relaxed, and at peace. I enjoyed my book for a bit longer before falling fast asleep.
For the rest of Shabbat, I felt more purposeful. Before I did anything on Saturday, I considered how it fit in with the day. Was I doing something out of obligation? Was I doing it for my own happiness? Was it within the realm of “rest” or “purpose”? It succeeded in making me more intentional in my actions.
What did “mindfulness” get me?
As I mentioned last week, I’ve been struggling with what is and isn’t okay for me to do on Shabbat. So, as I lay on my floor, I thought about what the “rules” of Shabbat say versus what I feel is important and how to reconcile the two. I considered the religious meaning of Shabbat versus what I want Shabbat to mean for me. Then, after Shabbat, I did some online research found out that I can totally justify my decisions with some help from the internet:
“ Generally, adherents of Reform and Reconstructionist Judaism believe that the individual Jew determines whether to follow Shabbat prohibitions or not. For example, some Jews might find activities, such as writing or cooking for leisure, to be enjoyable enhancements to Shabbat and its holiness, and therefore may encourage such practices. Many Reform Jews believe that what constitutes “work” is different for each person, and that only what the person considers “work” is forbidden.” (Thanks, Wikipedia)
So, now I feel a bit better about the fact that there are things that constitute work that I actually want to do on Shabbat! And that I definitely flip light switches and still use television as background noise. Isn’t the internet great?
As I’m sure some of you could have guessed — assuming you weren’t utterly convinced I would fail at this and give up immediately — Shabbat is turning out to be more of an exercise in mindfulness for me than religion. I’ve heard a lot about mindfulness in the past few years, thanks to websites such as this, and I think I often plan my schedule without any real intentionality. Shabbat seems like a perfect time to be more deliberate about what I do, why I do it, and what it will bring me and the world. I’m planning to keep up this once-weekly meditation as a way to begin my day of rest and use it to both outline the day ahead of me as well as consider how I’m currently feeling about my position in and happiness with my life in general.
For the rest of Shabbat, I’m still planning to keep away from work-work and I’m going to keep everything but phone calls turned off on my phone. I’m not going to stop myself from doing things I want to do though. Things that make me happy should be allowed, such as cooking a meal or going for a run. (In the case of this past weekend, I was SUPER excited to move into my storage unit on Saturday. Like, SO EXCITED. I’d been looking forward to move-in day for two weeks and really didn’t want to postpone. So, I didn’t.)
The moral is, Shabbat is now an exercise in mindfulness. I don’t want to be tied to my phone nor do I need it to survive, so it goes. Cooking has become a pleasant activity that requires purpose and that I enjoy, so it stays. Moving forward, I’ll probably begin each Shabbat with the same yoga/meditation routine to add purpose and mindfulness to my actions. When I’m home, I think I’d like to add prayers and candles as well.
Hopefully this explains this week’s title: Do you mind?
